Best Of 2021

People You Really Don’t Want to Hear Say, “I’m Not a Magician”

The defense attorney

The dermatologist

The plumber

The mechanic

The banker

The loan officer

The financial advisor when you plead with her to find a way to replenish your daughter’s college fund

The marriage counselor

The divorce attorney

The bartender after the divorce is finalized

The bartender in the bar you go to after you get kicked out of the first bar

The AA sponsor

The ex-mother-in-law when you ask if she can help you get Kimberly back

The magician you hire for your daughter’s first birthday party since the divorce

The barber when you drunkenly cut your own hair because Kimberly didn’t like it to get too long

The photographer doing your first family photos since Kimberly left

The voice teacher you desperately hire to make your daughter a star and make up for spending her college fund on all those gifts for Teresa over the past year and a half

The matchmaker friend when you’re finally ready to “get back out there”

The person in the airport you think is Criss Angel