Originals

Revised Rides at Reopening Disney Shanghai

by Debra A. Klein

Shanghai Disneyland has announced its intentions to reopen next week. When they do, they’ll revive now-even-more-relevant classics, The Boneyard and Fantasyland, and introduce many new protective protocols, and new experiences for these challenging times, including:

Don’t Splash Anything On Me Mountain

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride To The Grocery Store

Dumbo, The Grub Hub Driver Who Wouldn’t Mask Up

Frozen in Place Because Somebody Sneezed

If You Thought It Was A Small World Before, Just Wait A Few More Weeks

Mad MAGA’s Wet T Party on Huntington Beach

Give Me Six Feet Of Space Mountain

Pirated PPE Delivery of the Caribbean

Stitch’s Great Escape From The ICU

Swiss Family Treehouse That They Haven’t Left Since March

Grandma’s Haunted Expression As She Waves Through The Window of Her House

The Tower of Terrible Tik Toks

And the nightly, Main Street Electrical Germ-Killing UV Light Parade

You might also like
Unfortunately Fortuitous Quotes From the Animated Film Playing Down the Hall As You and Your Partner Climax
Swipe Left Club
Beware of Humans at the Dog Park
#CrankyCocktails
Non-Sexist Things That Bros Come Before
CARTOON: Back To Work
I’ll Have You Know, Riding My Scooter Makes Getting To Sex Appointments Much Faster
More Bluey for You-y