Trump’s Super Grand Asian Trip Itinerary
Nov 5: Spend half an hour explaining to the Asian press that he’s not Mothra in embryonic form.
Nov 6: During state dinner in Japan, grab octopus from plate and hide in pocket in order to scare Melania with later.
Nov 9: Attend East Asia Summit in bathrobe, figuring that other attendees will simply assume that it’s his “karate uniform”.
Nov 11: While in Vietnam, remark to others, “Say, this doesn’t seem like such a big deal. I should’ve just come in the first place, instead of bullshitting about those bone spurs. This seems like a pretty nice place!”
Nov 12: Assume that since most of these folks are so much smaller than him, he’ll end up having to play a few rounds of miniature golf before the trip is over.
Nov 13: After being unable to eat any of the Asian cuisine for several days, ask the Secret Service detail to find out if the rumors of dog being a popular Asian food are true. “A collie with a side of curly fries and a large root beer would hit the spot.”
Nov 13: While in the Philippines, rent a few of those young boys so that Melania has someone to go shopping with.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
