What Your Animal Tattoo Says About You

Bald eagle: You know too much about flag etiquette.


Jellyfish: You often try to manipulate people, but they see right through you.


Snail: You still use a flip phone.


Hermit crab: You own a t-shirt reading “Hell is other people.”


Octopus: You have a reputation at work for being “handsy.”


Bumblebee: You’re a workaholic.


Boa constrictor: Your exes accuse you of smothering them.


Clydesdale: You have a massive penis but don’t like to brag.


Giraffe: You never grew out of your awkward phase.


Pigeon: You think you’re street smart, but really you’re just trash.


Aardvark: You believe in the five second rule.


Platypus: People like to make guesses about your racial/ethnic background.


Komodo dragon: You were bullied as a child.


Lion (male): Your masculinity is toxic.


Lion (female): You’re forced to carry the emotional labor for your entire family.


Scar from The Lion King: You are murderously jealous of your older, more successful brother.


Vulture: You show up late to neighborhood BBQs just to finish off everyone’s beers.


Walrus: You have a Beatles cover band called “Walrus and the Eggmen.”


Hyena: You tried stand-up once and added “comedian” to your Tinder profile.


Giant panda: Your favorite Chinese dish is General Tso’s Chicken.


Moose: You’re a cartoon cold war Russian spy.


Flying squirrel: You’re the cartoon boyfriend of a cartoon cold war Russian spy.


Blowfish: You’re currently feuding with Darius Rucker.

Phoenix: Matt Damon is your best friend.