I’m Chris Harrison And I Don’t Think It Was Wrong To Celebrate Pro-Slavery Culture All The Way Back In 2018

I’m being told that my statements are ignorant and that they perpetuate racism. If this is the reaction I’m getting for my 2021 opinions, it’s a good thing you didn’t hear what I thought way back in 2018.

Upcoming 2020 Holiday TV Specials

The 3 Wisemen Meet The 4 Horsemen (CMT, Tuesday Dec 15, 3 AM)- Animated special from the creators of The Proud Boys Introductory Guide To Dental Hygiene, voiced by a bevy of your favorite wrestling stars, plus Tim Allen as the voice of a wisecracking baby Jesus. (Some material may be unsuitable for those with an IQ of over two digits)

Bachelor #244: There’s Trouble at the Mansion

It was incredible getting to know Cassie E’s family, as well as Cassie C’s and Cassidy’s. Although I didn’t get a blessing from any of the fathers, they definitely know how I feel about their daughters. Plus, I learned how to Skee-Ball!

QUIZ: Real Friend or Bachelor Producer?

When you start crying because your boyfriend just dumped you, your friend: A) Comforts you and gives you an obese carton of Ben and Jerry’s banana flavored ice-cream OR B) Locks you in a room for the next five hours and asks extensive questions about how the breakup happened, how it made you feel and whether you think you’ll ever find love again while holding a big camera and videotaping the whole thing.

Least Successful TV Spin-Offs 

The Creation Myth (CBS) - Severely misreading what made The Big Bang Theory a hit with audiences, CBS executives tried to replicate that success with a sister series, which followed four pious young priests and one ditzy nun all living together in a crowded seminary. 

Fall TV Preview!

America's Fuzziest Home Videos (Sundays, ABC) Home videos that seem to probably be hilarious, but that were filmed so out of focus that it's hard to tell. Adding just the right amount of wacky sound effects will probably help out quite a bit, we hope. You won't be offended at all, though, so take some degree of comfort in that. (Hosted by DJ Jazzy Jeff from his home via Skype)

Bachelor In Paradise Lost

I'm your host, Lucifer, and this is Bachelor In Paradise Lost!  Forget all of the pretenders to our throne, we're the real Temptation Island!

Coffee is for Voters

You think this is abuse? You can't take this -- how can you take another term and a half of Trump? I can go out there in November with the candidates you got, make myself a new Senate Judiciary Committee. Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! Get mad! Get mad!! You know what it takes to vote? You just have to be registered.

New Programming for Fall Season: TV Mashups

Loveboat NCIS, West Wing World, Golden Girls of Gilead Got Talent and more.

Upcoming Rebooted TV Shows

Everyone is out of new ideas, it seems.    In creative mediums…

Unexpected Twists During ABC's James Comey Interview

Comey was using the interview mostly as a platform to give away…

Mariah Carey's Excuses For Her Horrible NYE Performance

Distracted by the horribly intense yeast infection brought on…

What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…