How To Install An Outdoor Trampoline Basketball Hoop (Or Anything Else Requiring Assembly)

Step #1 – Read the instructions.

Step #2 – Ask yourself why, in America, the instructions appear to be written in an Anglo-Frisian dialect from the 7th century AD.

Step #3 – Look at the illustrations. Those have to be more helpful than the Old English of Step #2.

Step #4 – Ask yourself why the illustrations appear to have been drawn by a blind 7-year-old?

Step #5 – Use Google Translate in an attempt to understand Anglo-Frisian dialect from the 7th century AD.

Step #6 – When Google Translate is unable to detect Anglo-Frisian dialect from the 7th century AD, go make yourself a sandwich using vegan turkey because you aren’t man enough to eat real turkey.

Step #7 – After eating your pathetic excuse for a sandwich, try to install the damn trampoline basketball hoop without reading the instructions because that’s what real men do.

Step #8 – Yell, “Fuck this shit,” seventeen times to yourself, or anyone else who is within a five-mile radius of your backyard.

Step #9 – Call a handyman. Any handyman will likely do, but, if possible, find one of old English descent who can understand Anglo-Frisian dialects from the 7th century AD and/or who is the father to a blind 7-year-old.

Step #10 – Drink a beer while watching him be the man you can’t. It should be a non-alcoholic beer because it’s 8:00 in the morning and you don’t deserve anything stronger.