CARTOON: Divine Disclosure

Gonna keep it low-key. Today's cartoon by Kyle Bravo.

AITA for Creating a Universe Without Any Proof of My Existence and Then Punishing People for All Eternity if They Don’t Believe In Me?

My son (32M) and I have been arguing about this for ages. He says it’s unfair of me to require total unwavering belief without offering the slightest shred of evidence that I exist. I say he needs to stop blaming ME for other people’s suffering, despite the fact that I control the past, present, and future, that my will is all-encompassing, and that my plan cannot be deviated from.  

News Briefs: God Seriously Considering Starting Over Again With Human Race

PLUS: Velcro Feeling Like It Being Taken For Granted , Superhero Action Figure Not A Bathtub Toy, But Rather A Bathtub Collectible, Fast Food Meal Purchased To Save Time Puts Man In Bathroom For Several Hours Weekly Humorist News Briefs, Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Resolving The Diarrhea Paradox Plaguing Us All

If God created diarrhea to test me, then He’d already know how I’d fare against diarrhea (not great) since He’s all-knowing.

CARTOON: Visitation

Hell o. Today's cartoon by Alan Rozanski.

CARTOON: God Shmod

Commando Commandments. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Followers

What kind of numbers you get? Today's cartoon by Michael Litwak.

God's New Year's Resolutions

Finally Fill In Grand Canyon, New Rule That Not All Dogs Go To Heaven, Find Therapist That Doesn't Accuse You Of God Complex, and more!

God Announces He Will Forgive Some Sins

Think about the prayer economy! If we forgive too many sins, then there won’t be enough prayers for salvation coming in to sustain our Saints. Plus, a lot of people wish for ice luges in their Forever Paradise in the Sky. Do you know how expensive those are? If we get an unprecedented influx of people coming into heaven, all wishing for their own personal ice luge, I’m going to have to start laying off angels.

CARTOON: Airflow

Easy breezy. Today's cartoon by Mat Barton & Adam Cooper.

CARTOON: Garden of Eat'n

No brainer. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

Introducing: GODSHOT

This pandemic has been tough and we think you deserve a fun, shiny name to get behind. I mean, the word ‘vaccine’ is so 1798 and besides, it only protects against ONE virus. How lame is that? Our shot protects you against EVERYTHING. Even food poisoning! Bet you didn’t think that was possible, but it is. Trust us. We deliberately ate spoiled food to see if it would work, and we only vomited once and our ER stay was super short! If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will!

Are You There God? It’s Me, Sarah From pdfFiller

Are you there God? It’s me again, Sarah from pdfFiller. I’m emailing you at 3:21 am on a Wednesday because if you sign up right now you can start your risk-free pdfFiller 30-day trial, enabling you to integrate all your forms into one secure location and edit them in Wizard Mode. I bet God has a lot of important PDFs. 

Debuting on Broadband: The Book of Zuckerberg 

Hello! My name is Elder Zuckerberg and I would like to share with you the most amazing update to my book. The good book. The Facebook. Not only can you follow your friends, but now, you can also follow God with the help of the new worship features available to you. That’s right, sinners. I brought God to Facebook so you can experience salvation.

In Your Freakin’ Face! I Got Raptured!

Well, this was my revenge plan all along, you dingus! I knew if I kept the faith while you bullied me on earth, I’d get to spend an eternity rubbing it in your face while you got tortured by demons! I’ve always focused way more on the wrath part of Christianity than on the forgiveness part.

CARTOON: Summer Blockbuster

Impossible, nobody would believe it. Cartoon by Joe Wos.

Holiday Sacrifice Guide

For protection from storms: The wind and snow Gods are the by far the most difficult to appease – even our most revered shamans only guess right about half the time. However, it never hurts to sacrifice your fattest piglet just in case!

Bachelor In Paradise Lost

I'm your host, Lucifer, and this is Bachelor In Paradise Lost!  Forget all of the pretenders to our throne, we're the real Temptation Island!

15 Potential Product Placements of Biblical Proportions #7 Could Get You to Convert

The Wailing Walmart, Virgin Mary Atlantic Airlines, The Three Wise Men’s Warehouse, and more.

CARTOON: Heavenly Delivery

Hope traffic wasn't hell getting here. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Bible Version 2.0: Updated Verses from a God Who Just F'ing Can't Anymore

Ambien 5mg: So it shall be that we would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. Unto which the Lord replied "OMG, can’t I get 5 goddamned minutes to myself?! Daddy is TIRED.”

All-Girls Catholic High School Sex-Ed Q&A With Sister Patricia

Every time a Catholic girl says “condom,” an angel loses its wings.

The Prophecy Speaks Of “The One”

First, you must be willing to undergo the ritualistic Cave Beating Of Friends where we spelunk you into a cave and beat you with sticks until you can successfully name all six primary characters from the cast of Friends and the actors who played them.

CARTOON: Happy Earth Day!

Keep it tight! Earth Day cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Prayers to the Internet Algorithm Overlord

You are the purple Lyft light I see, guiding me to the correct path. You are what gets me to my destination, even when I have forgotten what my destination is.

CARTOON: Heavenly Expectations

Why was I trying so hard again? Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Are You There, Cthulhu? It’s Me, Margaret.

If only we had this kind of content during our vulnerable years - maybe it wold have all turned out differently.

Look What I Can Do! | God | TEDx

Well, that didn't play out quite like we thought it would.

Quiz: Megachurch or Megamillions?

This institution is designed to suck money from hapless…

Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper

Categories: Mediterranean Locations: Jerusalem Attire: Casual Good…

Things Oprah Might Think Are A Sign From God That She Should Run For President

1. She walks into her dressing room, and a burning bush that…

Top Selling Christian Rock Albums Since Trump’s Presidential Win

Turn The Orange Cheek Prayer Warriors Small Hands, Big…

Donald's Letters to God