She has 91 less criminal charges than Trump does. If by some miracle one of them actually lands him in jail she might then become the front runner. And more!

Alone on the stage midway through Act III, I deliver the line of lines. You know it well. Say it with me: "Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal; you sockdologizing old man-trap!" I know, I can scarcely pen the words such does my body quake with laughter. They just don’t write them like that anymore, do they? I knew that moment would punch my ticket to New York and superstardom. So, naturally, I nail the line, slaying my rapturous audience (perhaps not the finest turn of phrase given the circumstances, but paper and ink are not cheap so onward) when the shot rings out from the president’s box. As you can imagine, the distraction pretty much stopped the show flow like an Edison phonograph scratch.

Creeple, Trolling Stoned, Poor Sports Illustrated, and more!

Warren, “Yes, I ate every single plum. And yes, I knew that you wanted to eat them for lunch. But hey, I’m human, and probably the first woman to eat them. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but what if I told you that I’ve got a plan to replenish them? What if I told you that eating them was a part of my plan all along?” 

STEP 11 -- America impeaches, in this order, Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Grassley, Mike Pompeo, and, for good measure, the next 9 people in line for presidential succession.

Throwing tiny hat with a squirty flower in the ring. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

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