Read the Transcript: The Skipper Storms out of an Interview with Mary Ann when Challenged over False Claims
MARY ANN: Skipper, welcome back to Meet the Island. Let’s start off with this 1.8 thousand palm-frond so-called anti-weaponization fund to compensate people who say the Howell administration weaponized the Island legal system against them. It’s been blocked by the Castaway Island Governing Committee, met with opposition from Ginger –
SKIPPER: And the Professor. Mostly the Professor.
MARY ANN: Mostly the Professor, and the Howells. Are you backing off the fund completely?
MARY ANN: So are you looking for a way to revive it?
SKIPPER: I think the weaponization palm-frond fund is a great idea, and so do many others. If they don’t get it approved, I’d be disappointed. People like Gilligan have been destroyed by crooked Island politicians, and they should be reimbursed for that.
MARY ANN: Do you think Gilligan, who attacked Island police officers, should get taxpayer money?
SKIPPER: I can tell you this: 97% of those people, you look at them, the FBI [Federal Bamboo Investigators] or whoever it was, cause you had a lot of crooked cops, you had dirty cops. The Professor was a dirty cop.
MARY ANN: Well, there is no evidence to –
SKIPPER: A guy like Howell was a dirty cop –
MARY ANN: But there is no evidence that people who –
SKIPPER: Oh, you think the Professor was a straight cop?
MARY ANN: Many people pleaded guilty to assaulting Island police officers.
SKIPPER: Howell’s wife was a dirty cop.
MARY ANN: But Gilligan assaulted Island security officers–
SKIPPER: They had paid agents ushering them into Castaway Bay. Those people are walking around, they’re looking, “Oh, aren’t these bananas nice?” They weren’t in– they were being ushered into it.
MARY ANN: There’s no evidence of that.
SKIPPER: You had a bunch of dirty cops. You know why they pled guilty? Because they told they were going to the isolation hut for 15 years –
MARY ANN: Should they –
SKIPPER: They pled guilty because they were frightened. They were ushered into a hut. Many of them were arrested without even going into the hut. Now, I don’t know what’s going to happen with the weaponization palm-frond fund. I love the idea, because people like you, the fake dirty press, the crooked press, people like stupid Howell, he’s not smart enough to know what’s going on –
MARY ANN: There’s no evidence of what you’re saying, but let me ask about Gilligan. It’s not been presented to the Castaway Island Governing Committee.
SKIPPER: The 2020 island election was rigged, too. It was a dirty election. And it’s happening again right now.
MARY ANN: You’ve never presented evidence that the election was rigged.
SKIPPER: It’s happening right now. Look at what’s happening.
MARY ANN: Where’s the evidence?
SKIPPER: It’s four days. They’re dropping fast because it’s a rigged election. Let me tell you, it’s four days and they aren’t even close to coming up with the–
MARY ANN: That’s how they count the votes.
SKIPPER: Do you know why they’re doing that? Because they’re cheating on the election. All I have to do is look.
MARY ANN: But that’s not evidence.
SKIPPER: And I listen to people. Do you think it’s appropriate that they have an election and five days later, they’re nowhere close to picking a winner?
MARY ANN: Ginger acknowledged they are slow.
SKIPPER: No, they’re crooked just like you’re crooked, your press is crooked. And Meet the Island is crooked.
MARY ANN: To be fair, I’m not crooked.
SKIPPER: Really? You’re either crooked or you’re stupid. You play right into their hands with this stuff. You know that these elections are rigged. Do you know that I won the 2020 Island election in a landslide and I got 94% bad press. You know why I got that?
MARY ANN: You’ve never presented –
SKIPPER: Because you have no credibility.
MARY ANN: But you’ve never presented evidence it was rigged.
SKIPPER: You have more evidence, there’s more evidence than ever presented.
MARY ANN: Let’s talk about–
SKIPPER: Your elections in this Island –
MARY ANN: – you went to court.
SKIPPER: We’re like a third world island.
MARY ANN: But sir –
SKIPPER: Your elections are crooked and you’re crooked, and Meet the Island is crooked.
MARY ANN: But Skipper–
SKIPPER: And so is Ginger and the rest of them. You’re a one-sided crooked network. Sorry. Let’s call it quits because I’ve had enough. Thank you, darling. Have a good time.
MARY ANN: Skipper, let’s — please, I —
SKIPPER: I’ve given you enough time. You ought to straighten out your press, because you know what?
MARY ANN: Skipper–
SKIPPER: The Island can never be great with a dishonest press.
[The Skipper leaves]
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Andy Schocket is a historian, writer, and proud union member. He lives in the banana republic known as “Ohio.”
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Paul Cesarini is a Professor & Dean at Loyola University New Orleans. His fiction appears in numerous venues, with additional stories in-press. In his spare time, he serves as the editor / curator of Mobile Tech Weekly, at: https://flipboard.com/@pcesari/mobile-tech-weekly-lh2560e4y. He is a big fan of science fiction from the 1930s – 1950s. He is not a fan of wax beans. Beans are supposed to be green, not yellow.
Leave a Reply
Want to join the discussion?Feel free to contribute!