Chutes and Ladders: Vaccine Edition

To begin:

The oldest player, most famous player, or O.J. Simpson goes first.

 

To play:

On your turn, spin the spinner and move your pawn, square by square, until you reach the final square, where you will receive your Covid-19 vaccine at your local fairgrounds.

 

Throughout the game, try your best to jump the line by landing on ladders and avoiding pitfalls that will send you spiraling down chutes, relegating you to additional days, months, and maybe years of pandemic depression.

 

Ladders

Any time a pawn ends its move on a picture square at the bottom of a ladder, that pawn must climb up to the picture square at the top of the ladder.

 

For example, if you end your move on square #9, where your cousin Nico’s Mazda is parked, you can immediately move up to square #31, as he extracts a bunch of spare needles from the trunk and swears one of them contains the Moderna vaccine.

 

Notice that the pictures on these two squares are related. A player’s demographics, personal connections, and ability to navigate 1500 pages of health department policy all have consequences.

 

Chutes

Any time a pawn ends its move on a picture square at the top of a chute, that pawn must slide down the chute to the picture square at the bottom of the chute.

 

For example, if you end your move on square #49, where you’ve forgotten to set your alarm for 5:45 A.M to check the Publix online portal for vaccine appointments, you must immediately slide down to square #11.

 

Again, the pictures are related. Living in an under-resourced racial and ethnic minority community with little to no access to the internet means no vaccine for you!

 

Additional Squares: 

 

If you land on a square that provides an appointment link meant for the police or fire department, move ahead two spaces. Then move back two spaces after failing to secure a second shot.

 

If you land on a square that indicates Publix has extra doses that are available to anyone who can arrive within the next 12 minutes, move ahead ten spaces.

 

If you land on a square with an open vaccine appointment in your county, you may now double-check the website in joyful disbelief. Shit! The appointment is in Dallas City, Illinois, not Dallas, Texas.

 

If you land on any following squares, your turn is over:

• a square that shows available appointments, but times out before you can sign up
• a square that allows you to make an appointment, but then sends you a cancellation email indicating the appointment is no longer available
• a square where the website crashes the moment you finally get an appointment, causing your computer to literally implode in flames of frustration

 

To win:

The first player to reach the end is the winner! However, winning is a relative term, since in the race for the COVID-19 vaccine, nobody wins until herd immunity is achieved.