Backstage At The Biden / Trump Presidential Debate

Trump irritated by the lack of teenaged girls’ dressing rooms for him to barge into.

Biden regaling the janitor with tales of how he once had to kick the ass of the guy who invented Werther’s Originals.

Jill Biden posting a Secret Service detail outside of her husband’s dressing room, instructing them to all cough loudly in order to cover up the sound of his power-nap farts.

Minutes before the debate, Trump desperately attempting to purchase the answers to moderator Chris Wallace’s debate questions.

The MyPillow guy going into great detail explaining to other Trump followers how a simple pillow case can be fashioned into a rectangular hood.

Melania going from dressing room to dressing room, stuffing as much free food as she can fit into her purse.

Karen Pence giving a sternly worded lecture about eye contact to Kamala Harris.

QAnon members snooping around, looking for the secret switch that releases the Satanic, baby-eating, bloodthirsty winged goat-monsters.