Highlights Of Trump’s Planned Military Parade

The crowd will be the largest for a military parade. Ever. Anywhere. Period.

All spectators will stand proudly at attention during National Anthem — at gunpoint, if necessary.

Giant inflatable Underdog balloon from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will be surpassed by real-life floating Steve Bannon.

Female spectators who show their breasts Mardi Gras-style will earn equal wages to their male counterparts.

Display of giant Tomahawk Missiles, much bigger than Kim Jung-Un’s rockets, if you get Trump’s drift.

Series of George M. Cohan songs performed by the Pardoned Co-Conspirators Marching Band.

Battalion of Hollywood Access buses align to spell out Make America Great Again.

Fox & Friends will broadcast live from the giant Alternative Facts Float.

Administration unveils new Twitter Brigade of Trump look-alikes tweeting in unison.

Trump will review the troops, starting with the Confederate Army.

Rockettes debut Dancing Swastikas routine from “The Producers.”

Giant Animatronic puppet shows what Paul Ryan would look like with a spine.

Aboard the Appomattox 2018 Float, Trump officially signs treaty surrendering to Russia.