Other Revelations from the U.S. Intelligence Community

 

Russian hackers got into the Nielsen computers and sabotaged Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ratings for the debut of the “The New Celebrity Apprentice.”

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Construction is set to begin on a Trump Casino, Trump Golf Course, Trump Hotel and Trump Kibbutz on the West Bank in Jerusalem.

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The Trump Administration and the GOP Congress plan to replace Obamacare with “Omarosacare”, promising patients “if you don’t like your doctor you can fire them.”

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Russian President Vladimir Putin will visit Donald Trump during a previously scheduled trip to the United States for Putin to audition as a dancer at Chippendales.

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Trump has decided on his nominee for the vacancy on the Supreme Court — the Honorable Judith Sheindlin.

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Trump and partner Mark Burnett are working on a new project for the President-Elect called  “The Russian Apprentice.”

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President-Elect Trump and his foreign-policy team dismissed Aleppo from their agenda after determining it was the sixth Marx Brother.

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After numerous A-List celebrities turned down invitations to perform at the Trump Inauguration, officials have begun scouring Branson, Missouri, for replacements.

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The Dallas Cowboys game plan will be (oh, wait, that’s part of an unfinished special Super Bowl report ordered by Patriots coach Bill Belichick).

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Forecasters predict that the weather for Inauguration Day in Washington will be bitterly cold and gloomy with a 50 percent chance of raining frogs.

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President Obama plans to fly straight from the Inauguration to visit a mosque in Kenya “just to fuck with people.”

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Julian Assange has escaped from the Embassy of Ecuador in London and taken up residence in Donald Trump’s hair.

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