Entries by Adam Dietz

NFL Fans, Follow Your Favorite Teams and Tune In to All the Must-See Games This Season on Fox, CBS, NBC, ABC, ESPN, ESPN+ Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, Peacock, Fox One App, Paramount Plus, Netflix, YouTube, YouTube TV, NFL Network, NFL+, NFL Redzone, and Probably Some Others That We Forgot!

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Trust us when we tell you that you’ll love frantically Googling which channel your favorite team as kickoff nears. You’ll be sweating so much from the stress that you’ll need a terrible towel to wipe off with the perspiration. You can then wave that towel around as the Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Cincinnati Bengals for a week seven matchup exclusively on Amazon Prime Video! 

Our Baby Is Going To Be Really Chill

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I know what you’re thinking: What if the baby doesn’t sleep through the night? Umm, did you forget that our baby is going to be a chill baby? In the unlikely event that our baby can’t sleep, I’m confident that our infant will pop in his or her “Pure Moods” CD and read a few pages of Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea.” before drifting off in no time at all.

That’s A Party School 

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My friend said by the time he got his degree, he had partied so much that he wasn’t even sure what he’d majored in. Upon getting his diploma at graduation, he learned that he had actually obtained a BA in partying.

The Great Rock Debate: The Beatles or The Dino Dudes?

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While the Beatles touring time in the US was somewhat limited due to what can only be described as Beatlemania, those lucky enough to see the Fab 4 play in person will tell you that John, Paul, George, and Ringo more than effectively commanded the stage. Whether or not the same can be said for The Dino Dudes is up for some debate. Whereas the Beatles’ 1964 North American Tour is well documented by way of online clips and documentaries, footage of the Dino Dudes was lost to poor camera placement.

This City Has Really Gone Downhill

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This city has become dangerous too! On my neighborhood Facebook group, people are always talking about how they see “suspicious characters” lingering about town. Sure, this city used to have suspicious characters too, but back then they would be caught committing a crime and then put behind bars for a period of time. These new suspicious characters don’t ever actually commit crimes and, thus, are impossible to catch. The crime in this city used to be more obvious and frankly that’s how I preferred it.

A Press Conference Following My Dinner At Applebees 

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Why did you go to dinner at Applebee’s? That’s something I kept asking myself during the dinner itself. I suppose the easiest answer is guilt. I hadn’t seen my mom in a while, and she asked if I wanted to grab dinner “somewhere nice,” which I took to mean like a steakhouse or something.

9 Interesting Facts About Babies For People Thinking About Having One

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A personal frustration, but when my baby was born I was shocked to learn that he hadn’t seen any of the Rocky movies. I remember once when I was burping him in a crowded park and someone’s phone rang with “Eye of the Tiger” as the ringtone and I said to my baby “Rocky III, nice!” And I could tell based on his wide-eyes and lack of response that the little guy had no idea what I was talking about.

Introducing The North Pole Podcast Network

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The Ben Shapiro & Grinch Show: Are you tired of all of Cindy Lou Who’s liberal propaganda? Is the Whoville lame-stream media trying to force its socialist ideas down your throat? Sick of Mayor Augustus May Who and the other sheeple in power telling you how to run your herd?

The Forbes 10 Under 10

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If you’ve driven around the greater Houston area over the past few months, undoubtedly you’ve noticed that there’s a new playboy in the midst. Donning sunglasses with blue flames and traveling at speeds upwards of 5 MPH, Matthew “Matty” James has quickly become one of the most influential four year olds in town.

Doesn’t My Stupid Ass Grandma Know About Inflation?

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Despite my Grandma’s success, everlasting legacy, and laundry list of accomplishments, her dumbass has been ignoring the fundamentals of economic inflation and giving me the same $20 dollar check for my birthday since I was six years old. And it’s time she got put on blast for it. 

FAQ: The General Insurance

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Q: What is the General’s type, sexually? A: What? He’s a cartoon. This isn’t some Cool World scenario where humans and cartoons can have sex. He’s purely fictitious.

Power Rankings of My Son’s Little League Baseball Roster

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Atop the list for the sixth consecutive week is Niko Cherry. Nicknamed “Cherry Bomb” for his ability to blast the ball (almost) to the outfield, Niko is the oldest kid on the team and it shows. With broad shoulders and early signs of a mustache on his upper lip, he’s been feasting on both pitchers and hitters this season. If he continues his torrid pace, league officials may just have to take another look at that birth certificate. 

Big Dave’s XXL American Buffet Is Back And Better Than Ever!

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Hey, we’re still the Big Dave’s XXL American Buffet you know and love. We just have a different name, menu, exterior, interior, theme, staff, and overall ethos, but other than those things, we haven’t changed one bit. So we invite our loyalty reward members, formerly The Plate Posse, now “The Olive-garchs,” to please stop by and see us real soon. We’ve missed you!