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News Briefs: Lost Dog Found At Home Of Nicer Family
Plus: Stupid Lemonade Stand Doesn't Have Wi-Fi, Cabbage Enthusiasts Flip The Fuck Out Over National Cabbage Day, Mom Excited About Knowing Mother Of Hostess At Chili's.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Cat Caper
Weekly Humorist New Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Home-schooling
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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CARTOONS: Wet Results
Rock the Moat. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Technology
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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Suggested Snacks For The Vice Presidential Debate
QAnonfat yogurt dip, KamalaTov Cocktails, Black Olives Matter, and more!
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NEWS BRIEFS: Infected
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking news, Into Little Pieces.
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Backstage At The Biden / Trump Presidential Debate
Minutes before the debate, Trump desperately attempting to purchase the answers to moderator Chris Wallace's debate questions. Karen Pence giving a sternly worded lecture about eye contact to Kamala Harris. And more!
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News Briefs: Marriage
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Dishes
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWSBRIEFS: Cats
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Space
Weekly Humorist News Briefs. Breaking news, Into Little Pieces.
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Upcoming Headlines We're Sure To See...
"Pence Refuses To Debate Kamala Without Wife Present" "Vaccine Touted By Trump Simply Diet Coke With A Splash Of Lysol" And more.
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NEWSBRIEFS: Working
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWS BRIEFS: Guy on Porch Sees You, Knows What You’re Up To.
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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NEWS BRIEFS: 100% of All Home-Schooled Teens "Very Likely" to Masturbate During Lunch.
Weekly Humorist News Briefs. Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
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Modern Additions To The Kama Sutra
Mother May I? (submitted by Mike Pence), The Selfie, U and MeKraine and more!
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CARTOON: Absurd News
National Absurdity Day was yesterday. Could you really even tell anymore? Cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
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Canadians To Stop Making Penises And Six Other Headlines I Read Too Fast And What They Really Said
READ: Cosmetologist wins a Nobel Prize in Physics WAS: Cosmologist wins a Nobel Prize in Physics
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It’s True That Demons Are Possessing Human Souls, But You Need To Change Your Tone
As a journalist who is doing the most important work in our democracy right now, I am concerned. Look, I get it, people are angry because demons are coming out of their lairs and possessing human souls, and you should be angry, but if you want to really make a change, you have to change your tone first.
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Everyone Gawking at Me at This Skate Park is Failing to Focus on the 47% of Bones I DIDN'T Break
I am so pumped! Yesterday was an amazing victory for me, as I attempted a very simple skateboard trick, flipped into the air a thousand times, crashed face first into the cement, and managed to not break 47% of the bones in my body. I think I speak for everyone -- from the girls at the skatepark who wept in horror at the sight of me to the paramedics who vomited when they saw my mangled body -- when I say HELL YES, this was a complete and total victory for me as a skateboarder and anyone saying otherwise is fake news.
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The New York Times Visits the Town That Votes for Donald Trump Again Every Day
And every day, the residents of this small town take a regimented break at noon to head to their local polling place and vote for Donald Trump, a man who is already president...
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Short Sleeve Suits All The Rage In L.A.
MILAN, Italy -- Internationally known and respected men's clothing…
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Man Allergic To Clothing Gets Permission To Come To Work Nude
PENSACOLA, Florida – Jack Navish had worn clothing all his…
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Surgeon General Encourages Thumb-Sucking for Politicians
Thumb sucking - it's the next logical step.
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Ex-Barber Builds Home Out Of Human Hair
SVENSPOT, Sweden -- Most people work all their lives to be able…
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Donald Trump’s Hair to Announce It’s Transitioning Into A Quilt
The news just got a bit more hair-raising as it relates to the…
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International House of Pancakes, Iconic Breakfast Restaurant, Dead at 60
Known for their breakfast and contributions to American obesity,…
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College Admits 10 Month Old Infant Genius
FRANKFORT, Kentucky -- Most 10 month old babies are still pre-occupied…
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For MTV’s ‘Real World’ There’s No Place Like Nome
MTV’s ‘Real World’ announced its latest destination - Nome,…
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11’ Tall Basketball Player Found In Namibia Running With Giraffes
INDIANAPOLIS – At 7’7”, Manute Bol never thought he’d…
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Man Stretches Out In Gym – Against His Will
CHARLESTON, West Virginia -- Ralph Swane went to his gym expecting…
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Bodybuilder’s Bicep Explodes Killing Work-Out Partner
TARZANA, California – Mike “Cannon Ball” Tortuga, Mr. Olympus…
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Ohio Man Literally Zips His Lip
DAVENPORT, Ohio – Men have done many unusual things to try…
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Tap Dancing For The Criminally Insane
SPOKANE , Washington – Doctors at the Spokane Home For The…
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A Brief History Of Thumb Twiddling
ADELAIDE, Australia - Most people see someone twiddling their…
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Other Trumped Versions Of Headlines That Criticize His Actions
After seeing this POLITICO article: Trump tries his hand at…
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Doggy Dancing- A New Cure For Loneliness
NEW YORK CITY – Leave it to New York City to come up with the…
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Man Tattoos Muscular Body On His Own Scrawny Frame
SACRAMENTO, California - Tired of being picked on for his scrawny,…
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The Whispering Village Of Turkmenistan
TURKMENISTAN – There’s a tiny village in Turkmenistan called…
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One Weird Day in the Trump White House
Author’s Note:
As your intrepid White House correspondent…
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Baby Born With Antlers
NOME, Alaska - Rachel Binster was expecting twins. The one thing…
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Man In Wyoming Builds Family A Nest
ELK MOUNTAIN, Wyoming – Wade Truesdale was proud of the house…
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Man Killed For Giving Girlfriend A Snail Instead Of Engagement Ring
GILA BEND, Arizona – Hiram Trask and Emma Baldoon were high…
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Smithsonian Institute Proves George Washington Wore Wooden Pants
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stories have abounded for…
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Man With Infant's Head Sues For Discrimination
NEW YORK CITY – A major Wall Street firm is reeling from charges…
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Creepy Guy With ‘Free Breast Exam’ T-Shirt Now Most Viable Women’s Health Option In Louisiana
The Louisiana Department of Health has released an official…
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News from the Even-Handed Gazette
(The ‘unbiased’ coverage our leaders have clamored…
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NOTICE: Curriculum Update to Reflect Current Industry Standards: Department of Journalism & Creative Media, University of Alabama
To the Class of 2021,
Welcome to the Department…
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PIC QUIP: Trump's Art Collection
Chicago art museum says Renoir in Trump's NYC apartment is fake.…
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After 35 Years of Marriage, Dad Comes Out as Alien
STOWE, Ohio -- Following 35 years of marriage, and after seeing…
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Most Anticipated New Reality Shows
Extreme Vetting
Join America’s most extreme veterinarian,…
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Department of Nihilism Study Finds That Nothing Matters Anyway
WASHINGTON, DC – A new report by the federal Department of…
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How To Tell If You're Allowed In The White House Press Briefing Room
Your paper has plenty of gratis full-page ads for Ivanka's sassy…
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FOTO BOMB: ты слышишь меня сейчас?
Can you hear me now?
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Incredible Football Facts!
The first football was built as part of a New Deal–era jobs…
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Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven
WASHINGTON — One week after the more publicized Women’s…
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President Trump's First News Conference
"We take you to Washington D.C. where President Trump is about…
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Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees
For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to…
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Least Clicked On Fake News Stories
Creator Of CB Radio Sets Own Buttocks On Fire
Nazi Scientists…
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Competitive Duck Mimicry to Debut at 2016 Summer Olympics
The International Duck Mimicry Federation has announced Duck…