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WebMD: Repeal And Replace
I’ll Die Without Insurance Disorder
What is I’ll Die…
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The Adventures of Angry Vagina and Her Dating App
Let me tell you a tale of a close friend of mine named Angry…
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Sessions Lessons
YOU can be as great of a liar as Jeff Sessions!! It's true!! …
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In The Event Of Nuclear War I’m Teaching My Cockroaches How To Lock Up The House
Well, it seems like despite everyone’s best efforts, the world…
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Department of Nihilism Study Finds That Nothing Matters Anyway
WASHINGTON, DC – A new report by the federal Department of…
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Goodbye to the Cancer Moonshot
“Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses.”
~…
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The Westminster Human Show 2047
Welcome to the premier showcase of humanity, transmitted across…
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Ernest Hemingway's Fifty Ways To Drive Your Man Wild In Bed
Editor's note: Quite a few of Ernest Hemingway’s early short…
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Trump News Conference
"We take you live to the White House where President Trump is…
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Trump/Putin Rom-Coms
Four Elections and An Impeachment
Donald is a brash but sensitive…
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Bobby Fink: Kid Detective - The Case of Trump's Missing Terror Attacks
It was the start of February when she walked back into my life.…
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Hearing To Determine Grizzly Bear’s Eligibility In Schools
SENATOR BERNIE SALAMANDER: (D-VA): The watering hole will come…
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Trump's New Rules
Meanwhile, in Donald Trump’s White House…
Meeting in…
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Sean Spicer and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Period.
I went to bed chewing thirty-five pieces of gum, and before…
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Building Your Deck with Elon Musk
Step 1 - Commit to Your Deck
Hi, my name is Elon Musk and welcome…
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News From the White House Got You Down? Try Presidex!
Do you ever find yourself staying up through the wee hours of…
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Extreme Vetting
"We take you live to New York City's John F. Kennedy International…
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Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven
WASHINGTON — One week after the more publicized Women’s…
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2017 Ethics: Punching a Nazi and Other Acceptable Acts
Punching a Nazi
Putting an empty milk carton back into…
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BuzzFeed for Dads
19 Nose Hair Trimmers Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Love Life.
27…
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Mr. Trump Goes to Washington
Meanwhile, in Donald Trump’s White House…
The next President…
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Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat
Jack Sprat could eat no fat. He had high cholesterol, and his…
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FOTO BOMB: Happy Trump New Year!
Donald Trump Wishes America a Happy New Year from Times Square.…
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Life After Simon & Garfunkel: Exchanging a Christmas Present
Art Garfunkel uses his considerable celebrity to exchange a Christmas…
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BREAKING NEWS: Cable News See Nativity Coverage As Ratings Savior
Cable networks salivating at their ratings-grabbing replays of…
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WORLD WAR C
It’s is difficult to remember the small events that preceded…
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10 Lesser Known Award Shows Nominees
Tis the season for award show nominees. Here are the few, the…
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An Oral History of Space Jam
Space Jam is the story of sport itself, touching on the universal…
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The Spy Who Came in from the Access Hollywood Bus
A dimly lit tavern, somewhere along the Ukrainian border. A waitress…
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Hard To Fill Help Wanted Ads
NOW HIRING: Reverse Psychologist
You don’t really want this…
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My TripAdvisor
“Had Reservations Before We Made Reservations”
★★☆☆☆
Reviewed…
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Black Friday Lives Matter
A Eulogy For a Family Member Trampled and Killed During Black…
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Most Anticipated Moments From The 2016 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
New England Patriots mascot balloon not inflated properly, falls…
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You Are Invited to the Democratic Party’s White Working Class Appreciation BBQ
What: The Democratic Party’s First Annual White Working Class…
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President Trump's Cabinet Member Selections
Citizens of these great United States, you can now rest easy. …
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Steve Bannon, Really? He Doesn’t Even Make My List of Top 5 Favorite Nazis
I gotta tell you: I’m real disappointed with the…
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WikiLeaks Bombshell: Militia Group Issues ‘Stand Down’ Order, Four Erections Die
KALAMAZOO, Mich. – As Republican presidential candidate Donald…
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Alliterative Day-of-the-Week Themes to Boost Morale at Your Startup
Mole Mondays
Nope, not the cute little furry critter!…
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Subject: Fear Not, Gun Lovers!
********* (The highest ranking members of the GLC [Gun Lovers…
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Answer Sheet For The Exam Of Kanye’s God-Level Sommelier
Any deviation from these exact answers during the blind tasting…
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Five Reactions from Those Who Met Saul Alinsky on the DNC Floor and Immediately Learned He's Been Dead Since 1972
It's been a real Who's Who on the floor of the Democratic National…
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GOP Convention Drinking Game!
Drink every time the camera pans to an overweight woman in a…
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Four Strange Things Found in Michelle Obama's 2008 DNC Speech
With all this fuss about plagiarism from Melania Trump's RNC…
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President Trump White House Tour
A first-person account by one lucky reporter
It is a pretty…
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Whore-O-Scope
[Prostitutional Premonitions]
Aries (March 21- April 19)
You…
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Trump University Final Exam
[qzzr quiz="231502" width="100%" height="auto" redirect="true"…
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The Crossword Couple!
NOTE TO READERS:
"The Crossword Couple," Eric and Colleen Belknap,…
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So You’re Thinking of Symbolically Adopting an Elephant
It may be the biggest decision in your life. If it is, consider…
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Eulogy for a Cobra Command Henchmen
Hello, thank you all for coming today. We are here not to mourn,…
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For All The Nevers In Life: If The State Farm Ad was Self-Aware
[We open on a wild, alcohol-fueled pool party with…
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Bernie Sanders Campaign Groupie Sex Diary
It's proven to be a passionate electoral season, and voters have…
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Trump Snarls
Two hours after his latest victory sort-of-speech following a…
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Batman and Superman: AN ORAL HISTORY
Superman: Oh, yeah, we were tight. Me and Bats? Are you kidding?…
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GOP Primary Forecast
UPDATED FEBRUARY 23
As we head into the final stretch of the…
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Domestic Terrorism Pinterest Projects
The Ku Klux Klan’s Whites Only Dorito Corn Dogs
Perfect…
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NPR FAN FICTION
“Escape from the Zombies in the Village by the Potomac”
Terry…
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New On Broadway!
My Dinner with Andre II: Just Desserts
Andre Gregory and Wallace…
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How To: World Domination for Bears
Are you a bear and can read? Do you lust for more than just salmon?…
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Dear Donald
Donald Trump receives thousands of letters every week asking…
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IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - THE DISCARDED "POTTERSVILLE" ENDING
The screenplay for the 1946 holiday classic It's a Wonderful…
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Things to Bet On In NY Now that FanDuel and DraftKings Are Shut Down
-300 Express subway train pulls away right as you get to the…
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Competitive Duck Mimicry to Debut at 2016 Summer Olympics
The International Duck Mimicry Federation has announced Duck…
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Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand Russell
Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand…
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Rent-A-Baby
Hello ladies. Are you 40?
Single? Married? Divorced?
Overworked?…
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Pumpkin Spice Latte; A DEA Drug Fact Sheet
Autumn comes with shortening days, and associations with stressful…
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Pope’s Dope Robe Probed
Hey The Pope - just because you're The Pope doesn't mean you…
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How To: World Domination for Pirates
Congratulations on your interest in world domination! You are…
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How to Dominate Friends and Repel Losers
Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence…