Posts

News Briefs: Lost Dog Found At Home Of Nicer Family

Plus: Stupid Lemonade Stand Doesn't Have Wi-Fi, Cabbage Enthusiasts Flip The Fuck Out Over National Cabbage Day, Mom Excited About Knowing Mother Of Hostess At Chili's.

NEWS BRIEFS: Cat Caper

Weekly Humorist New Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWS BRIEFS: Home-schooling

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

CARTOONS: Wet Results

Rock the Moat. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

NEWS BRIEFS: Technology

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Suggested Snacks For The Vice Presidential Debate

QAnonfat yogurt dip, KamalaTov Cocktails, Black Olives Matter, and more!

NEWS BRIEFS: Infected

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking news, Into Little Pieces.

Backstage At The Biden / Trump Presidential Debate

Minutes before the debate, Trump desperately attempting to purchase the answers to moderator Chris Wallace's debate questions. Karen Pence giving a sternly worded lecture about eye contact to Kamala Harris. And more!

News Briefs: Marriage

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWS BRIEFS: Dishes

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWSBRIEFS: Cats

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWS BRIEFS: Space

Weekly Humorist News Briefs. Breaking news, Into Little Pieces.

Upcoming Headlines We're Sure To See...

"Pence Refuses To Debate Kamala Without Wife Present" "Vaccine Touted By Trump Simply Diet Coke With A Splash Of Lysol" And more.

NEWSBRIEFS: Working

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWS BRIEFS: Guy on Porch Sees You, Knows What You’re Up To.

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWS BRIEFS: 100% of All Home-Schooled Teens "Very Likely" to Masturbate During Lunch.

Weekly Humorist News Briefs. Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Modern Additions To The Kama Sutra 

Mother May I?  (submitted by Mike Pence), The Selfie, U and MeKraine and more!

CARTOON: Absurd News

National Absurdity Day was yesterday. Could you really even tell anymore? Cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Canadians To Stop Making Penises And Six Other Headlines I Read Too Fast And What They Really Said

READ: Cosmetologist wins a Nobel Prize in Physics  WAS: Cosmologist wins a Nobel Prize in Physics

It’s True That Demons Are Possessing Human Souls, But You Need To Change Your Tone

As a journalist who is doing the most important work in our democracy right now, I am concerned. Look, I get it, people are angry because demons are coming out of their lairs and possessing human souls, and you should be angry, but if you want to really make a change, you have to change your tone first.

Everyone Gawking at Me at This Skate Park is Failing to Focus on the 47% of Bones I DIDN'T Break

I am so pumped! Yesterday was an amazing victory for me, as I attempted a very simple skateboard trick, flipped into the air a thousand times, crashed face first into the cement, and managed to not break 47% of the bones in my body. I think I speak for everyone -- from the girls at the skatepark who wept in horror at the sight of me to the paramedics who vomited when they saw my mangled body -- when I say HELL YES, this was a complete and total victory for me as a skateboarder and anyone saying otherwise is fake news.

The New York Times Visits the Town That Votes for Donald Trump Again Every Day

And every day, the residents of this small town take a regimented break at noon to head to their local polling place and vote for Donald Trump, a man who is already president...

Short Sleeve Suits All The Rage In L.A.

MILAN, Italy -- Internationally known and respected men's clothing…

Man Allergic To Clothing Gets Permission To Come To Work Nude

PENSACOLA, Florida – Jack Navish had worn clothing all his…

Surgeon General Encourages Thumb-Sucking for Politicians

Thumb sucking - it's the next logical step.

Ex-Barber Builds Home Out Of Human Hair

SVENSPOT, Sweden -- Most people work all their lives to be able…

Donald Trump’s Hair to Announce It’s Transitioning Into A Quilt

The news just got a bit more hair-raising as it relates to the…

International House of Pancakes, Iconic Breakfast Restaurant, Dead at 60

Known for their breakfast and contributions to American obesity,…

College Admits 10 Month Old Infant Genius

FRANKFORT, Kentucky -- Most 10 month old babies are still pre-occupied…

For MTV’s ‘Real World’ There’s No Place Like Nome

MTV’s ‘Real World’ announced its latest destination - Nome,…

11’ Tall Basketball Player Found In Namibia Running With Giraffes

INDIANAPOLIS – At 7’7”, Manute Bol never thought he’d…

Man Stretches Out In Gym – Against His Will

CHARLESTON, West Virginia -- Ralph Swane went to his gym expecting…

Bodybuilder’s Bicep Explodes Killing Work-Out Partner

TARZANA, California – Mike “Cannon Ball” Tortuga, Mr. Olympus…

Ohio Man Literally Zips His Lip

DAVENPORT, Ohio – Men have done many unusual things to try…

Tap Dancing For The Criminally Insane

SPOKANE , Washington – Doctors at the Spokane Home For The…

A Brief History Of Thumb Twiddling

ADELAIDE, Australia - Most people see someone twiddling their…

Other Trumped Versions Of Headlines That Criticize His Actions

After seeing this POLITICO article: Trump tries his hand at…

Doggy Dancing- A New Cure For Loneliness

NEW YORK CITY – Leave it to New York City to come up with the…

Man Tattoos Muscular Body On His Own Scrawny Frame

SACRAMENTO, California - Tired of being picked on for his scrawny,…

The Whispering Village Of Turkmenistan

TURKMENISTAN – There’s a tiny village in Turkmenistan called…

One Weird Day in the Trump White House

Author’s Note: As your intrepid White House correspondent…

Baby Born With Antlers

NOME, Alaska - Rachel Binster was expecting twins. The one thing…

Man In Wyoming Builds Family A Nest

ELK MOUNTAIN, Wyoming – Wade Truesdale was proud of the house…

Man Killed For Giving Girlfriend A Snail Instead Of Engagement Ring

GILA BEND, Arizona – Hiram Trask and Emma Baldoon were high…

Smithsonian Institute Proves George Washington Wore Wooden Pants

  WASHINGTON, D.C.  -   Stories have abounded for…

Man With Infant's Head Sues For Discrimination

NEW YORK CITY – A major Wall Street firm is reeling from charges…

Creepy Guy With ‘Free Breast Exam’ T-Shirt Now Most Viable Women’s Health Option In Louisiana

The Louisiana Department of Health has released an official…

News from the Even-Handed Gazette

(The ‘unbiased’ coverage our leaders have clamored…

PIC QUIP: Trump's Art Collection

Chicago art museum says Renoir in Trump's NYC apartment is fake.…

After 35 Years of Marriage, Dad Comes Out as Alien

STOWE, Ohio -- Following 35 years of marriage, and after seeing…

Most Anticipated New Reality Shows

Extreme Vetting  Join America’s most extreme veterinarian,…

Department of Nihilism Study Finds That Nothing Matters Anyway

WASHINGTON, DC – A new report by the federal Department of…

How To Tell If You're Allowed In The White House Press Briefing Room

Your paper has plenty of gratis full-page ads for Ivanka's sassy…

FOTO BOMB: ты слышишь меня сейчас?

Can you hear me now?

Incredible Football Facts!

The first football was built as part of a New Deal–era jobs…

Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven

WASHINGTON — One week after the more publicized Women’s…

President Trump's First News Conference

"We take you to Washington D.C. where President Trump is about…

Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees

For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to…

Least Clicked On Fake News Stories

Creator Of CB Radio Sets Own Buttocks On Fire Nazi Scientists…

Competitive Duck Mimicry to Debut at 2016 Summer Olympics

The International Duck Mimicry Federation has announced Duck…