Son, back in my day, bizkits were limp, nary a pumpkin wasn’t smashed, and systems were actually made from a real down. Can you believe it?

Snowflake Mountain, Jessica Jones, Burna Boy, and more!

Crowd Surf: This may not strike you as the best idea when you’re playing at the community teen center in front of a sparse audience of 8th graders with the upper body physiques of Beavis and Butt-Head. Don’t worry. Go ahead and jump, and immediately join the ranks of Bruce Springsteen and Iggy Pop.

While the Beatles touring time in the US was somewhat limited due to what can only be described as Beatlemania, those lucky enough to see the Fab 4 play in person will tell you that John, Paul, George, and Ringo more than effectively commanded the stage. Whether or not the same can be said for The Dino Dudes is up for some debate. Whereas the Beatles’ 1964 North American Tour is well documented by way of online clips and documentaries, footage of the Dino Dudes was lost to poor camera placement.

Dixie With Myself, Dark Side of the Moonshine, Wish You Were Deer, and more!

Undone - The Sweater Song - Weezer: If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away. Me: GOD, NO! It’s gorgeous.

Iron Maiden Deficiency, Motley Croup, Food POISONing, and more #HeavyMetalMaladies on this week's trending joke game!

Here’s an important rule to remember about penises: they should never be a surprise. You need consent from whoever you plan on showing your dingaling to before it makes an appearance. I don’t recall you getting on the mic and asking for the audience’s permission.

When you come to view us we hope that you will respect that for 80 mins you will only hear various versions of the 1979 hit, and we would appreciate it if you don’t yell out other song requests.

It won’t seem that bad the first dozen times you have Tag Team in full effect, kicking the flow with DC The Brain Supreme, and his man Steve Roll’n. We’re party people, right? We like to jump, jump rejoice, just like anyone else does. You might even think you imagined the potential harm that my decision could cause. But if I let you believe that, I’d be gaslighting you. The party is over here and it’s over there.

So, you’ll need to introduce a suggestive phrase that’s maybe something like this: “So I discovered Steely Dan on Spotify.” At this point, you might not need to say anything for the next hour or five.

I'm begging Dolly for just one inoculation / Vaccine, Vaccine, Vaccine, Vaccine / I’m sorry I used your man for copulation

“My child arrived just the other day/He came to the world in the usual way” ~ Actually, my birth story’s quite harrowing. Dad, like most mid-twentieth century men, wasn’t even in the room. Mom was in labor for fifteen brutal hours. Far from “usual,” I’d say. 

It’s the end of the word as we know it, and I need wine (It’s the end of the word as we know it, REM)

“I Wanna Be Your Terminator 2” “With a Little Help from My Friends (Theme from Friends)” “You’re Gonna Lose That Macarena Girl” and more!

Whistle a happy tune. This song is PERFECT, TREMENDOUS. THE BEST! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

I'm Hooked On A Riesling, Every Rosé Has it's Thorn. Into The Grape Wide Open, and more #WineASong on this week's joke game!

Fluo Rida Lil Nas Vaxx, Chemtrail Brothers and more!

Today on Talkward is musical comedy extraordinaire Jessica Delfino! Jessica is a critically acclaimed and award winning comedic musician who has performed her quirky comedy songs all over the world. She launched the New York Comedy Music Festival (first called the Funny Songs festival) in 2012. We discuss her newest album ‘Songs To make War to (14 Anarchist Anthems for the Whole Family)’ Botnik Studios, Mom Comedy shows and she reads host Marty Dundics with her 40% accurate Psychic powers!

Use of trans-dimensional portal to visit Earth-2’s famous music and arts festival, Craig T Nelsonella. ($850 up charge)

With all the hullabaloo surrounding the recent recounts in Florida and Georgia, the following tunes were given a recount. The results tabulated as follows...

If you’ve already completed Drake’s challenge, which involves…

Limp Bizkit’s highly anticipated sixth studio album, Stampede…

Turn The Orange Cheek Prayer Warriors Small Hands, Big…