Town-Hall Debate Drinking Game

Do a shot every time that:   Donald Trump attempts…

Fallout Events From the Trump Video

  In a surprise move the Tic-Tac organization chooses…

Donald Trump's Excuses For Not Paying His Taxes

It's Hillary's fault. He's done plenty of other illegal…

Hustler Magazine's Reasons Why Donald Trump Should Be Our Next President

USA Today has come out against Trump. As is of course their right. To…

What Trump Did Right During the Debate

Didn't bite anyone. (on-stage at least; and even Reagan took…

Questions Rejected From Being Used During The Clinton / Trump Debate

  "Senator Clinton, is it true that ISIS unfriended you…

FOTO BOMB: Weiner

5 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned Managing the 837 Checking Accounts Wells Fargo Opened for Me

If there’s one thing I learned from watching movies about other…

Items Purchased With Misappropriated Trump Foundation Funds

Human centipede made up of losers from past seasons of The Apprentice. [$20K…

The Politically Incorrect Traveler's Exam

Travel magazines, basic cable channels, and websites inevitably…

Top FAQs On The Ashley Madison Site

If I catch an STD from one of the dates provided by your site,…

TV Preview

Chillax, Inc. Thanks to an accounting…

Foto Bomb: Born in USA

Weekend At Hillary's

Highlighted Excerpts of Interest From the FBI's Investigation of Hillary's Emails

"... just saying, if someone is being paid to give me a proper…

Top Five Tips for Selecting Babies from the Hospital Nursery

Who isn’t an animal lover? Our pets are our best friends, our…

Donald's Letters to God

Fall Movie Preview

It's fall, time to wave goodbye to the people shooting at you…

What Will it Take to Get Anthony Weiner to Stop Sexting?

There are only a few viable scenarios that appear likely:   His…

The University of Chicago's Letter to Incoming Students

The University of Chicago recently garnered a great deal of media…

'Stranger Things' Demogorgon Exclusive Interview

In the wake of Netflix's smash hit Stranger Things, fans are…

10 Other Things Ryan Lochte Also "Over Exaggerated"

After the Olympic games closed, Ryan Lochte's mom discovered…

In Defense of Heather Bresch and EpiPen Price Hike

People are chomping at the bit, demanding blood and worse from…

Real, Genuine Reasons Donald J. Trump Is Refusing To Release His Tax Returns

Accidentally spilled a two liter of Big Red soda onto the form,…

Non-Televised Rio Olympics Events

100m Police Chase Rusty Wire Fence Hurdles Smoke-Grenade…

Subject: Fear Not, Gun Lovers!

********* (The highest ranking members of the GLC [Gun Lovers…

Answer Sheet For The Exam Of Kanye’s God-Level Sommelier

Any deviation from these exact answers during the blind tasting…

Trump’s Olympic Demonstration Sports

Ratings for the 2016 Olympics were way down from the London 2012…

The Endings Of Those Novels You Were Supposed To Read Over The Summer

A new school year is fast approaching, and I'm willing to bet…

Signs Trump Is Actually Losing It

Recently paid workers for a job he hired them to perform. Gave…

Six Republican Men You’d Totally Invite into the Bathroom with Your Daughter

We’ve all been there: watching your young daughter walk into…

Potentially Delicious Items from the 2016 DNC Concession Menu

Hill-a-refried Beans $25.00 We in the food service industry…

Five Reactions from Those Who Met Saul Alinsky on the DNC Floor and Immediately Learned He's Been Dead Since 1972

It's been a real Who's Who on the floor of the Democratic National…

DNC Drinking Game!

Drink every time someone says that they are NOT Donald Trump Drink…

Duties of Those Cleaning the Convention Center Following the RNC

Repair porta potty glory holes Contact landfill re: thousands…

Tasty Items For Sale At The RNC Concession Stands

Trump Roast $74.50 Baloney. Lots and lots of roasted baloney.…

GOP Convention Drinking Game!

Drink every time the camera pans to an overweight woman in a…

Four Strange Things Found in Michelle Obama's 2008 DNC Speech

With all this fuss about plagiarism from Melania Trump's RNC…

President Trump White House Tour

A first-person account by one lucky reporter It is a pretty…

The Real Reasons Behind The Female Ghostbusters Backlash

1) Most Ghostbusters fan-boys are more scared of women than they…

Least Coveted Raffle Prizes

Cursed monkey hand Do-It-Yourself Human Centipede Kit $25 gift…

Failed Made-Up Names Before They Settled on Brexit

 Great Escapain' Eng-leave Great Bail-in' Boris, Farage,…

Whore-O-Scope

[Prostitutional Premonitions] Aries (March 21- April 19) You…

Trump University Final Exam

[qzzr quiz="231502" width="100%" height="auto" redirect="true"…

Handy-Dandy Tips On Staying Safe From Shark Attacks

While swimming, find a shark and wrestle it to submission.  …

Tips For A Fun, Massacre-Free Backyard Barbecue

No need to be as lax as the US Govt's gun-purchasing policies.;…

Mad (Trump) Libs

Classic Romantic Comedies If They Were Set In Present Day

1. When Harry Met Sally   Instead of it taking Harry…

What's On The DVR?

Pixar Presents Keeping Up With The CARdashians Disney's…

The Crossword Couple!

NOTE TO READERS: "The Crossword Couple," Eric and Colleen Belknap,…

So You’re Thinking of Symbolically Adopting an Elephant

It may be the biggest decision in your life. If it is, consider…

Letters That Dear Abby Stopped Reading After One Sentence

Dear Abby, As a longtime fan of your column, as well as someone…

A Few Examples of When It’s Okay, Even Advisable, To Report Your Neighbor To The Police

His only contributions to the block garage sale are always…

Things Paul Ryan Would Endorse For President Before Donald Trump

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan announced this week that he would…

Amazon Reviews of a Lamp That Your Ex Took After A Breakup

 

Eulogy for a Cobra Command Henchmen

Hello, thank you all for coming today. We are here not to mourn,…

New Career Plans For Ted Cruz

It looks like it's getting to be about that time. The time for…

Popular Prom Themes For 2016

1) Oxy Pads & Oxycontin 2) The Waltzing Dead 3) MTV's Teen…

For All The Nevers In Life: If The State Farm Ad was Self-Aware

[We open on a wild, alcohol-fueled pool party with…

Bernie Sanders Campaign Groupie Sex Diary

It's proven to be a passionate electoral season, and voters have…

Most Referenced FAQs on the Cialis Website

1) Will Cialis work even if my partner and I have grown to despise…

Expert Tequila Taste Test

Tequila is the name of a distilled beverage from Mexico, made…

Trump Snarls

Two hours after his latest victory sort-of-speech following a…

Batman and Superman: AN ORAL HISTORY

Superman: Oh, yeah, we were tight. Me and Bats? Are you kidding?…

Overly Specific Rejected Facebook Emojis

Coked Up   "Check out my new dental work"   Super…

GOP Primary Forecast

UPDATED FEBRUARY 23 As we head into the final stretch of the…

Domestic Terrorism Pinterest Projects

The Ku Klux Klan’s Whites Only Dorito Corn Dogs   Perfect…

Newly Leaked Hillary Emails Suggest She May Have Seen 'Hamilton,' Or Is Just Crazy

Original Message From:Huma Abedin <Huma@clintonemail.com> To:…

NPR FAN FICTION

 “Escape from the Zombies in the Village by the Potomac”   Terry…

New Art Gallery Openings

Winter has arrived, why not go out and see an art exhibit or…

Tip-Top Tips to Terminate a Trumper Tantrum

The world can be a scary place even without Donald Trump around.…

Hillary's Top Secret E-Mails

After several months of furious work, hackers have managed to…

New On Broadway!

My Dinner with Andre II: Just Desserts Andre Gregory and Wallace…

Presidential Candidates Footwear

After the Ted Cruz campaign drew attention to Marco Rubio’s…

How To: World Domination for Bears

Are you a bear and can read? Do you lust for more than just salmon?…

The Summer of My Erotic Marxist Awakening

I suppose we were what you'd call an odd couple, Karl Heinrich Marx and me. After all, I was just a pimple-faced 16-year-old from Kenosha, WI, and he was the German revolutionary and theorist whose Communist Manifesto had forever altered the course of Western Civilization.

Dear Donald

Donald Trump receives thousands of letters every week asking…

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - THE DISCARDED "POTTERSVILLE" ENDING

The screenplay for the 1946 holiday classic It's a Wonderful…

Things to Bet On In NY Now that FanDuel and DraftKings Are Shut Down

-300 Express subway train pulls away right as you get to the…

Competitive Duck Mimicry to Debut at 2016 Summer Olympics

The International Duck Mimicry Federation has announced Duck…

Modern Day Postcards

Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand Russell

Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand…

Rent-A-Baby

Hello ladies.  Are you 40?   Single? Married? Divorced? Overworked?…

Pumpkin Spice Latte; A DEA Drug Fact Sheet

Autumn comes with shortening days, and associations with stressful…

Indiego-gone

Hey Man, Dude, first, thanks so much for donating to my Kickstarter…

Pope’s Dope Robe Probed

Hey The Pope - just because you're The Pope doesn't mean you…

How To: World Domination for Pirates

Congratulations on your interest in world domination! You are…

How to Dominate Friends and Repel Losers

Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence…

Who Said It: Donald Trump or Bill the Butcher from "Gangs of New York"?

1. “You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English…

Geppeto: Helicopter Parent

FROM: Geppetto@earthlink.com TO: Sunnydale Elementary Listserv RE:…

The Olive Garden Specials Menu written by a Former Political Operative

The Gamechanger This artichoke and basil pesto panini is, simply…

50 Least Infectious Diseases

1. Subhuman papillomavirus 2. Weeping cough 3. Mackerel degeneration 4.…

My Sincerest Apologies: Barnes & Noble

Dear Barnes and Noble, I am so sorry. I know nothing I can…

The 50 Least Successful Minor League Franchises

1. San Fernando Valley Fluffers 2. Briscoe County Juniors 3.…