Trump Calls to World Leaders

President Donald J. Trump reportedly became angry during a telephone…

Does The Mile High Club Still Count if My Plane Has Been Missing Since 2014?

Guess what, man? I totally did it! Mile high club, baby! Yes!…

Oprah Winfrey is joining 60 Minutes

Oprah Winfrey is joining 60 Minutes as a Special Correspondent.…

Building Your Deck with Elon Musk

Step 1 - Commit to Your Deck Hi, my name is Elon Musk and welcome…

Incredible Football Facts!

The first football was built as part of a New Deal–era jobs…

Super Bowl Vegas Odds

Experts predict close to $5 billion will be bet on Sunday's Super…

Naughty NASA Pickup Lines

Do you want to ask out that special crush, but scared she’ll…

Other Trump Executive Orders You Might Have Missed

New trade agreement discussions with Chile ("Mostly because I…

How The Obamas Spent Their Vacation In The British Virgin Islands

When the Obamas departed from the White House on January 20th,…

News From the White House Got You Down? Try Presidex!

Do you ever find yourself staying up through the wee hours of…

Extreme Vetting

"We take you live to New York City's John F. Kennedy International…

Alternate ways of paying for the wall

Now that Mexico has refused to pay for the wall that the Trump…

Steven’s March on Washington Highlights Issues of Importance to Steven

WASHINGTON — One week after the more publicized Women’s…

White House Confidential: Overheard During Trump’s First Week In Office

Anyone got a thesaurus? I’m running out of synonyms for the…

2017 Ethics: Punching a Nazi and Other Acceptable Acts

Punching a Nazi Putting an empty milk carton back into…

Wine Pairings With Household Chores

According to people who make science, housecleaning affords the…

Trump's Other Changes To The White House Website

Trump wasn't in office for even a day when he made several notable…

Alternatives to Alternative Facts

The truth seems to be a fickle thing in the new White House,…

BuzzFeed for Dads

19 Nose Hair Trimmers Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Love Life. 27…

Phone Messages Left on My Senator’s Voicemail

[BEEP!] Hey, there! It’s Andy. I was just calling to check…

President Trump's First News Conference

"We take you to Washington D.C. where President Trump is about…

Grizzly Bears I Would Have Totally Shot at School

Conor, 5th Grade (Spelling Class) Conor was pretty much the…

Women's March on Washington Pick-up lines

You smell slightly less awful then the other hippies. So,…

Most Common Tattoos Spotted at the Trump Inauguration

Demonic/zombie bald eagle with dead dove in it's mouth: 174 Rebel…

Taking the Twitter Oath

'I, Donald J. Trump will chew out world leaders. I will tweet…

Pick-up Lines Overheard at the Trump Inauguration

Given President Trump’s notorious sexist comments about women,…

Washington, D.C. Travel Guide for Trump Supporters

Tens of thousands of Donald Trump supporters will be flocking…

The New School Threat: Grizzly Bears

Sure guns in schools can do SOME bad things, but what's the REAL…

Procrastinators! You Can Still Move Away! Try Guam!

FYEO – Guam Chamber of Commerce Secret Plan For Attracting…

Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

Meanwhile, in Donald Trump’s White House… The next President…

About Your Claim in the Class Action Lawsuit

  To whom it may concern:   This is to notify…

Obama Sticky Notes

Sticky notes that President Obama has left around Washington…

GOP Affordable Care Replacement Ideas

Don't despair, folks! All is not lost! Just mostly...   Quit…

The Real Reasons That Ringling Bros Are Shutting Down

Bankrupt after having to bail out so many clowns who had been…

Trump’s Golden Intelligence Briefing

Thank you for meeting with us today, Mr. President-elect. We…

Jason Vorhees' Camp Crystal Lake Etiquette

1. Look, we know why you're here. You're going to have sex. And…

Notable lines from Donald Trump's upcoming Inaugural Address

"Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what your country…

FOTO BOMB: Barack Obama is...MOVING!

Obama is getting ready to move out of the White House. He…

How to Explain a Golden Shower to an Evangelical

It's like the story of Noah and the Flood, but God is a high-priced…

Donald Trump Reviews Overrated Meryl's Top Films

Kramer Vs. Kramer Overrated Meryl won an Academy Award for her…

FOTO BOMB: Trump @ CES

Trump is at it again doing his White House training at CES…

Golden Globe Categories That Don't Make it to Air

Best Performance By An Actor/Actress Trying To Bounce Back From…

Other Revelations from the U.S. Intelligence Community

  Russian hackers got into the Nielsen computers and sabotaged…

Ask The Magic 8 Ball

Dear Magic 8 Ball, Will this be the year that…

Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. He had high cholesterol, and his…

9 Great Urinal Conversation Topics

1. Cold out/hot out/regular temperature out. 2. These…

Reality Shows of the Dictators

PUTIN YOU ON "Smile!  You're on Candid Comrade!"  The playful…

Mariah Carey's Excuses For Her Horrible NYE Performance

Distracted by the horribly intense yeast infection brought on…

FOTO BOMB: Happy Trump New Year!

Donald Trump Wishes America a Happy New Year from Times Square.…

Grim Reaper’s 2016 Party Gets Outta Control

Looks like someone can’t get enough celebrating this year,…

FOTO BOMB: Putin Punished

" OBAMA does not take pleasure in the spankings or the sanctions…

What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…

FOTO BOMB: Amazon Echo Columbo Edition

After recent news concerning An Amazon Echo may be the key to…

Trump's Definitions of Common, Everyday Political Terms

President-Elect Trump recently referred to the UN as simply "a…

Life After Simon & Garfunkel: Exchanging a Christmas Present

Art Garfunkel uses his considerable celebrity to exchange a Christmas…

Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees

For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to…

BREAKING NEWS: Cable News See Nativity Coverage As Ratings Savior

Cable networks salivating at their ratings-grabbing replays of…

Useless Tinder Rip-Offs

Just in time for the horrible, lonely holidays! Here Come The…

7 Reasons Why You’ll Regret Reading This Click Bait Article

1) You’ve been had! There’s no nudity here, pal. Why don’t…

It's a Wonderful Presidency

President-elect Trump is pacing inside the penthouse at Trump…

WORLD WAR C

It’s is difficult to remember the small events that preceded…

Christmas Gifts The Trump’s Asked From Santa

The Declaration of Independence, for Ivanka to use as coasters…

Daily Planner Schedule For The Elf On The Shelf

9:30 am Tinkle into the dishwasher's detergent container. 10:15…

Donald Trump's Pre-Tweet Crib Sheet

Mr. President-Elect Trump, please always refer to the following…

10 Lesser Known Award Shows Nominees

Tis the season for award show nominees. Here are the few, the…

An Oral History of Space Jam

Space Jam is the story of sport itself, touching on the universal…

Least Clicked On Fake News Stories

Creator Of CB Radio Sets Own Buttocks On Fire Nazi Scientists…

The Spy Who Came in from the Access Hollywood Bus

A dimly lit tavern, somewhere along the Ukrainian border. A waitress…

Tales of WUT

by Shedd Kenwick      Part 1 At age 104, Shedd Kenwick…

Hard To Fill Help Wanted Ads

NOW HIRING: Reverse Psychologist  You don’t really want this…

These Electoral College Members Are Hot, Willing, and Waiting For Your Online Petitions!

Hey there, concerned citizen! Are you itching to have your voice…

My TripAdvisor

“Had Reservations Before We Made Reservations” ★★☆☆☆ Reviewed…

Black Friday Lives Matter

A Eulogy For a Family Member Trampled and Killed During Black…

Most Anticipated Moments From The 2016 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

New England Patriots mascot balloon not inflated properly, falls…

Thanksgiving Family Conversation Starters

"So, let's all take turns saying what we're thankful for, and…

The Trump Presidency, The First 100 Days

ObamaCare replaced by TrumpCare (first-aid kit, bottle of off-brand…

You Are Invited to the Democratic Party’s White Working Class Appreciation BBQ

What: The Democratic Party’s First Annual White Working Class…

Rosy-Cheeked Residents of the Bizarro Earth Are Thankful For...

President-Elect Michelle Obama not only soundly defeating Donald…

How to Be a White Ally Without All the Hassle

Are you distressed about the results of the recent presidential…

President Trump's Cabinet Member Selections

Citizens of these great United States, you can now rest easy.   …

Steve Bannon, Really? He Doesn’t Even Make My List of Top 5 Favorite Nazis

  I gotta tell you: I’m real disappointed with the…

Victory speech transcript from the 2116 Elections

Back to the future: so much can change in so little time Thank…

WikiLeaks Bombshell: Militia Group Issues ‘Stand Down’ Order, Four Erections Die

KALAMAZOO, Mich. – As Republican presidential candidate Donald…

So You're Moving To Another Country...

What Now? Things To Consider:   1) Don't Go From…

Election Night Comforting Thoughts

Regardless of who ultimately wins, the night of the Presidential…

Very Last Minute Election Surprises

Adak, Alaska has the pleasant distinction of being home to the…

Election Day Voting Checklist

Are you ready to make the arduous journey to your local voting…

Notes From Hillary's Diary

For the next week leading up to the election, Hillary Clinton…

Mike Pence's Thoughts As The Plane Skidded Around

Republican Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence was in a plane…

Civil War Soldier Writes Home to Mother About Losing his Virginity

“Dear Mother, I shall hope you receive this letter in good…

Melania's Whistle-Stop Tour

The odd, little out of the way places that Trump's campaign advisors…

TrumpTV: 15 Shows He Will Remake For His New Network

We got ahold of the transcripts from his meetings with network…

Alliterative Day-of-the-Week Themes to Boost Morale at Your Startup

  Mole Mondays Nope, not the cute little furry critter!…

Can We Guess Your Age As Part Of A Deeply Sinister Population Control Program?

It's time for us to come clean, readers. Now that the cat…

Surprise Guests of the 3rd 2016 Presidential Debate!

Today's CNN report cited the guests invited to tonight debate…

Melania Trump Body Language Decoded

Anderson Cooper's CNN interview with Melania Trump held very…

Internal Trump Campaign Emails From Last Weekend

+++++++++++++ Friday, Oct. 7, 2016 3:35 pm From: Donald To:…

Kellyanne Conway Word Association

Who is this mysterious woman, Kellyanne Conway? The woman behind…

The Upcoming Calendar Of Mr. Kenneth Bone

Ken Bone cares about America. If you think he's just at the Town…

Trump's Other Favorite Sputnik News Stories

Donald Trump recently began citing a Kremlin funded news website…

Other Times That Billy Bush's Shenanigans Have Landed Him in Hot Water

Forget about Trump! What about that little scoundrel, Billy Bush? His…

Foto Bomb: Trumpenstein!

Paul Ryan said he'll no longer defend Trump. Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty tired of defending his monster too .

Town-Hall Debate Drinking Game

Do a shot every time that:   Donald Trump attempts…

Fallout Events From the Trump Video

  In a surprise move the Tic-Tac organization chooses…

Donald Trump's Excuses For Not Paying His Taxes

It's Hillary's fault. He's done plenty of other illegal…

Hustler Magazine's Reasons Why Donald Trump Should Be Our Next President

USA Today has come out against Trump. As is of course their right. To…

What Trump Did Right During the Debate

Didn't bite anyone. (on-stage at least; and even Reagan took…

Questions Rejected From Being Used During The Clinton / Trump Debate

  "Senator Clinton, is it true that ISIS unfriended you…

5 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned Managing the 837 Checking Accounts Wells Fargo Opened for Me

If there’s one thing I learned from watching movies about other…

Items Purchased With Misappropriated Trump Foundation Funds

Human centipede made up of losers from past seasons of The Apprentice. [$20K…

The Politically Incorrect Traveler's Exam

Travel magazines, basic cable channels, and websites inevitably…

Top FAQs On The Ashley Madison Site

If I catch an STD from one of the dates provided by your site,…

TV Preview

Chillax, Inc. Thanks to an accounting…

Highlighted Excerpts of Interest From the FBI's Investigation of Hillary's Emails

"... just saying, if someone is being paid to give me a proper…

Top Five Tips for Selecting Babies from the Hospital Nursery

Who isn’t an animal lover? Our pets are our best friends, our…

Donald's Letters to God

Fall Movie Preview

It's fall, time to wave goodbye to the people shooting at you…

What Will it Take to Get Anthony Weiner to Stop Sexting?

There are only a few viable scenarios that appear likely:   His…

The University of Chicago's Letter to Incoming Students

The University of Chicago recently garnered a great deal of media…

'Stranger Things' Demogorgon Exclusive Interview

In the wake of Netflix's smash hit Stranger Things, fans are…

10 Other Things Ryan Lochte Also "Over Exaggerated"

After the Olympic games closed, Ryan Lochte's mom discovered…

In Defense of Heather Bresch and EpiPen Price Hike

People are chomping at the bit, demanding blood and worse from…

Real, Genuine Reasons Donald J. Trump Is Refusing To Release His Tax Returns

Accidentally spilled a two liter of Big Red soda onto the form,…

Non-Televised Rio Olympics Events

100m Police Chase Rusty Wire Fence Hurdles Smoke-Grenade…