Posts
CARTOON: Back To School
Melting young minds. Today's cartoon by Joe Wos.
CARTOON: Full Endorsement
Numbers are climbing fast, don't miss out! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Examining The Medical Prowess Of Donald Trump: Other Examples Of His Insightful Brilliance
“Using a tanning bed on it’s highest setting for several hours every day is great for you. If it weren’t, why would it make you , or me, look so healthy and photogenic?”
Goodbye Birds
But so long most of all, to the one we called regal. Goodbye to our very own proud bald eagle.
CARTOON: Young Trump
Non-learning started early. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Other Ways That Trump Will Probably Try To Distract Us From The Pandemic
Play a few rounds of golf in the Arlington National Cemetery. And more!
CARTOON: Football Fries
Waked and Baked. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Whale Tale
What have you got to lose? Besides your leg, everyone on the ship, the ship itself and...Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Antifa
Antifa's been around a while. They were very effective fighting Hitler back then too.
CARTOON: The Little Dutchboy 2020
The tiny fingers won't work. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Star Wars if All The Bad Guys Refused to Wear Their Masks
Onboard the Death Star, Luke Skywalker and Han Solo try to disguise themselves as Stormtroopers. Everyone recognizes them immediately because Stormtroopers don’t wear masks.
It is I, Ramp
Honestly dude, you need to take a look in the mirror. So, you almost fell down a ramp and embarrassed yourself. Shit happens. President Ford nearly fell down the steps descending an airplane back in ‘75. He didn’t blame tweet the flight of stairs. He laughed it off and continued serving his unremarkable term.
CARTOON: MORE RALLY VENUES
Always read the fine print! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
If 'Wartime President' Trump Had Been President During Past U.S. Wars
War of 1812: Grabs all portraits of the previous presidents when the British set fire to the White House, and then throws the paintings into the blaze. Expresses disappointment that the “rat-infested” city of Baltimore is successfully defended. Later takes credit for writing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
CARTOON: Mirror Mirror
Overkill. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: War Crime Prez
Much more accurate. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Hey New York Times, I went ahead and edited that Tom Cotton piece for you
Since it seems the actual NY Times Opinion “Editors” were asleep at the wheel on this one, I went ahead and edited that Tom Cotton opinion piece for you. I’ll be sending you an invoice.
CARTOON: Heating Up
Is it hot in here, or it is just your impending doom? Today's cartoon by Scott Dooley and Jason Chatfield.
CARTOON: Peaced Out
This ain't no dove glove. Today's cartoon by Joe Wos.
CARTOON: The End...
I'll just see myself out. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Trump's Other Photo-Op's You Might Have Missed
Trump used tear gas to clear peaceful protesters so he could have a photo op with a bible and a church. But there were other photo ops you might have missed!
CARTOON: Donald Trump - President Provocateur
Would know those tiny hands anywhere. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
COVID-19 Business E-mail Alerts You May Have Missed...
And as this pandemic has proven, there are a lot of dangerous, mentally unbalanced people posting less than truthful information on Twitter. From Russian bots and opportunistic hate groups to the president and his family, there are many unsavory predators lurking on Twitter.
CARTOON: Jarring
I swear we need a bigger jar. Today's cartoon by Catherine Martha Holmes.
CARTOON: Ratings Gold
Did you see? Number 1 on all the networks. Today's cartoon by Tom Chitty.
CARTOON: Inspection
Looks perfect here, masks not required. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Newly Discovered Side Effects of Hydroxychloroquine
Side Effects include: Distrust of medical professionals, Urge to ingest Lysol Wipes, Late night rage tweeting, and more.
The Spring 2020 Vera Wang Wedding Dress Collection
The Fauci – Strapless soft sweetheart full A-line gown with draped wrap DuPont Tyvek 400 haz-mat bodice and swirling frothy draped skirt made from high-density polyethylene with guaranteed protection from particles and virus < 1 micron in size. Accentuated with organza sprig appliques with hand-tacked voluminous framed horsehair overskirt. Available in ivory or white. Or reflective yellow latex.
FICTION: Ivanka Run: Chapter 1- Greetings from Crimea
After years on the lam, world-class criminal mastermind Ivanka Trump must come out of hiding to find her long-lost husband.
CARTOON: Our American Leader Ship
We are all stuck on this cruise ship. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
People and Things I Would Rather Vote for Than Trump
The list is long, and repulsive, yet all much, much better options. Illustrated list by Jason Chatfield.
CARTOON: Warp Drive
He went to Jared. Again. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Pence Sense
Solid Pence Sense. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
The Little Pence
From forbidden asteroids to dinners alone, take a journey with The Little Pence.
CARTOON: Whine Time
Go have a snack and a nap. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Pod Popper
Also comes as a miracle elixir! Today's cartoon by Tyson Cole.
Trump’s Favorite COVID Cocktails & Disinfectant Delights
Mai-Tide: Chill 4 Tide pods in a freezer overnight. Place chilled pods into a glass, then puncture each pod. Pour Mai Tai contents over pods.
CARTOON: Unhinged Definition
In case you needed a lesson. Clorox Coffee anyone? Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.
CARTOON: The Hoax With The Most
You should have seen the cheery tree. It was so mean to me. Today's cartoon by Lance Hansen.
CARTOON: Signed Out
Some leave their mark with positive action, others...Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Jared Kushner’s Morning Pages
Today I will do the coronavirus response briefing and it will be amazing! This time I will remember to swallow. Last night I did arm practice with Ivanka for two hours. I think I’m finally getting how to hold them!
CARTOON: Dr. Fauci's Cure-All
Maybe a few more over the mouth to be safe. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
Who Said It: An Actual Doctor, Star Trek’s Dr. McCoy, or Donald Trump?
WHAT AM I, A DOCTOR—OR A MOON SHUTTLE CONDUCTOR?!
Have You Heard The One About President Trump?
With a gleam in his eye, the doctor jibes: “That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual, because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left!”
CARTOON: Home Office
Lead by example, Будем здоровы! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Sample Scripts for the Elizabeth Warren Drunken Recrimination Phone Bank
You’ve indicated in the past that you’d be happy to vote for a woman, you just “weren’t that into” Hillary Clinton. And yet you’ve voiced concerns that Elizabeth Warren just isn’t “electable.” What does “electable” mean to you?
In These Fraught Times, We Need A President Who Will Unite The Nation With Honor, Integrity, And The Delicious Flavor Of Quiznos (SPONSORED CONTENT)
Ladies and gentlemen, in these tumultuous times, we understand that the road ahead of us is a long one. But remember... our founding fathers did not sacrifice their lives just for this nation to inherit a future of dry, stale, Jimmy-John's-flavored ineptitude.
CARTOON: Coronaryvirus
Don't panic. Trump has protections in place.
The Democratic Candidates Ate The Plums That Were In The Icebox
Warren, “Yes, I ate every single plum. And yes, I knew that you wanted to eat them for lunch. But hey, I’m human, and probably the first woman to eat them. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but what if I told you that I’ve got a plan to replenish them? What if I told you that eating them was a part of my plan all along?”
CARTOON: Pardon Me?
More Trump Pardons. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Presidential Intervention
Lured him in with 4 Big Macs. 3 didn't do it. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.
CARTOON: Stone Cold
Roger Stone's Prison Tattoo. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Impeachment Recap
A very simple guide to the downfall of our great republic. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Opening Statement By The Defense At The Impeachment Trial Of Atreus, King Of Mycenae
In any event, it is undisputed – undisputed – that the hands and feet which gentle Atreus taunted his adulterous brother with were left untouched by the cook’s flame. So it cannot truly be said that he cooked all of Thyestes’ children; only parts of them, at best. That the accusers call this a serious crime is laughable, dear friends.
Exclusive! Chapter Titles Of John Bolton's Upcoming Book!
Chapter Seven: Mister Pi-Stash-io: Isn't saying that he's partially responsible for the recent death of Mr. Peanut, but isn't exactly denying it either.
CARTOON: Frosty Testimony
Melting Defenses. Today's catoon by Bob Eckstein and Paul Lander.
CARTOON: One Man Show
Objection! Anyone? Anyone? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Sorry, My Impeachment Testimony Won't Include the Juicy Stuff From My Book, by Smokey the Bear
I’m ready to paint a picture of the inner-workings of the Trump administration for the American people. Speaking of pictures, my book includes over 25 full-color photos. Perhaps one that features Rudy Guliani (in drag for some reason) smoking cigars and recording video birthday cards for the grandmothers of two Ukrainian timber oligarchs? You’ll have to read to find out!
CARTOON: Pre-colored
Totally, Fantastic, White House approved. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Trump's Legal Dream Team
We rest our case....for being awesome. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Trump Mints
Do Not Disturb?? Too late! Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.
CARTOON: Trump's War
Want fries with that war? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.
CARTOON: Oh Shoot
Let's triple check that one. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Other Scenes Deleted From The Canadian TV Version of ‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’
After a blurry night of fun with bath salts Kevin McAllister burns down The Plaza Hotel.
CARTOON: View Askew
Open your eyes. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Rejected GOP Impeachment Comparisons
Republicans compared Trump's impeachment to Jesus and Pearl Harbor. Here's what didn't make the cut. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Lil' Mitchy with Santa Trump
They've had it too good for too long! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
What To Expect When You're Expecting Articles Of Impeachment
If you're like most presidents who are expecting articles of impeachment, you're more than likely a bit anxious and apprehensive about the days to come. This is, after all, the scenario that you've spent years preparing yourself for, but thinking would never come.
CARTOON: NATO Notice
Too subtle? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Wind Bag
See the out-of-control hot air sack on the parade? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Vapid Denial
As the saying goes: “Where there’s smoke, there’s Donald Trump committing an impeachable offense.” Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Modern Additions To The Kama Sutra
Mother May I? (submitted by Mike Pence), The Selfie, U and MeKraine and more!
CARTOON: Impeachment Series
Does the winner or loser end up in pinstripes? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.
Donald Trump's Medical Examination: Five Surprising Findings
Mr. Trump's fondness for the Golden Arches and other fast food chains is well known. What has not been widely reported, however, is that there is an entire, working McDonald's restaurant located deep within the presidential intestines.
CARTOON: Showmanship
Maybe jazz hands? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
What You Need To Know While Watching The Televised Impeachment Hearings
These are the first impeachment proceedings in over two decades, as well as the 238th impeachable offense that has occurred during the Trump presidency.
CARTOON: Congressional Hearing Aid
Can you hearing me now? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.
CARTOON: Ask The 8 Ball
Answer hazy. Ask again later. Спасибо!
CARTOON: Catching Fire
Going up in smoke. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
A Gaslight In The Attic: Im-Peach-Mint
There is nothing better than ice cream/ I love every single flavor/ In my eyes are a glint,/ But when Pelosi serves it I scream/ Because it’s not something I’ll savor/ It’s Im-Peach-Mint.
CARTOON: Silly Walkbacks
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walkback has become rather sillier recently. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Drastic Measures
Unthinkable! Today's cartoon by David DeGrand and Rob Kutner.
Other Presidential Conspiracy Theories
Abraham Lincoln secretly discovered the internet in 1863, but fearing the negative consequences it could have on society, he only used it for porn.
Welcome to Hatreon!
$5 or less: Access to the private blog, a picture of Melania and I looking serious, calling you a cheap loser.
CARTOON: Discerning Depths
Sinking feeling? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Whistleblown
Several dozen calls wherein the president, apparently somewhat confused, must be told again and again that ordering prostitutes from GrubHub simply isn't possible.
CARTOON: Unpresidented
If you were wondering how he's doing. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Commander-in-Cheese
It's #NationalCheeseburgerDay or if you prefer, hamberders. Cartoon by Marty Dundics.
CARTOON: The President Lends His Support To Brett Kavanaugh
The Sharpie is mightier then the facts. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Memoir
It's a real page burner. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.
Bummer Bumper Stickers
I'm Proud Of My Son, Even Though He's Stolen This Car Several Times, and more.
Horror Movie Sequels Inspired By The Trump Era
Alien vs Creditor: Tax Returns, The Unfair Witchhunt Project, Creature from the Fat Buffoon, and more!
EXCLUSIVE BOOK EXCERPT: 'From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts' ~ Buy It Today!
First chapter excerpt of the new political satire novel 'From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts'. Now available from Humorist Books!
CARTOON: Bolton Bolts
Let's get bombed. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Bracing
It's gonna really hit hard. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Some Other Pieces of Americana, Revised By The Trump Administration
God Bless America: Written by Irving Berlin, Revised by President Trump “God, bless America, / Land that I love. / Although Baltimore is a real rat-infested hell.”
Playground Games for Representatives and Senators at Recess
Donald Says: A variation on the classic “Simon Says” and a GOP must-play. One person pretends to be Donald Trump and says, “Donald says '[insert action here]’.” All the players must do what Donald says. If the person doesn’t insert “Donald says” when requesting the action, those who do the action are out. The last person still in office, or not yet roasting in hellfire, wins.
A Gaslight in the Attic: Toilet Tweeting
It doesn’t matter that / It’s three in the morning / I’ll tweet up a storm / I’ll send out a warning!
CARTOON: Locked and Loaded
Getting ready for Trumper Dome. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Everybody in This Country Needs to Chill Out and That's Why I'm Voting for Jimmy Buffett in 2020
Mahalo, friends. Does the current political climate have you…
CARTOON: Uncontrollable
Uncontrollably scripted! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
A Gaslight in the Attic
There’s a gaslight in the attic / Though the White House said one thing / They now deny and say another / And I think I’m going insane!
CARTOON: Moscow Mitch
Muddled and indifferent with zest! Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.
CARTOON: Magic Weapon
The framers planned for this. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Human Lie Detector
Robo-Mueller, today's cartoon by Marty Dundics
Questions For Robert "Bobby" Mueller
Let's speculate that our current political situation were an Agatha Christie novel; would you say that these hearings represent the last few pages of that novel?
CARTOON: Trump Cats
Why so much Cheeto dust in the litter box? Today's cartoon Evan Lian.
Ways to Refer to a Thing Someone Said Without Actually Calling it Racist
Intolerant, Undertolerant, Tolerance averse, Possessing a mild allergy to tolerance and more.
Truly Terrible Signs That Summer Is Definitely Here
All the ladies are wearing less clothing, allowing tantalizing peeks of cleavage and colostomy bags.
CARTOON: Trump History
The Pilgrims struggle with bluetooth, next time on Trump History. Today's cartoon by Ellis Rosen.
CARTOON: Half Mast
Can't get it up? You are not alone. Happy 4th of July! Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.
CARTOON: Diet War
What could possibly go wrong? Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.
CARTOON: Type
Not a fan of real winners. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Debatable
Debatable demo. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.
Bible Version 2.0: Updated Verses from a God Who Just F'ing Can't Anymore
Ambien 5mg: So it shall be that we would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. Unto which the Lord replied "OMG, can’t I get 5 goddamned minutes to myself?! Daddy is TIRED.”
CARTOON: Way Unfair
Family Reassembly Required. Today's cartoon by Jeremy Nguyen.
CARTOON: The Ass
Definitely Not Born To Run. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Huckzilla
Huckzilla heads home. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Bottoms Up
Vote to save our livers! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Trump Force One
In case of emergency use your Big Mac as a flotation device. Today's cartoon by J.C. Duffy.
CARTOON: Trump Agreement
Finally something we all can agree on! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Movies Updated for 2019
Twins, and heirs to their family’s designer jean fortune, Bianca and Taylor are attending USC this fall on a full field hockey scholarship. The only problem? They don’t play field hockey. Now their mom is being indicted on charges of fraud and extortion.
CARTOON: Disaster Relief
Can we get Presidential Disaster Relief? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: Hater Hatter
Donald in Blunderland. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
CARTOON: Mueller Decoded
Clear enough now? Today's cartoon by Ellis Rosen.
CARTOON: Sing Along With Mueller
Only hear what you want to hear? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
SOAP OPERA UPDATE! The Soapy Scoop On All Your Favorite Shows!
The Young & Arrested- Miguel finds that his emotions are feeling a bit caged, as well as his kids. His kids are in cages as well. Olivia is worried about the secret formula that has fallen into Victor's hands, but is distracted by the fact that her offspring have been placed into cages by the American President.
CARTOON: I Don't Do Cover-Ups
I Don't Do Cover-Ups. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.
Little Known Executive Privilege Rights
Free access to members of the Illuminati who are handy with plumbing issues, car battery jumps, etc. Unlimited back-rubs from the vice-president. And more.
CARTOON: Trump Taxes
Seems like he really, really, really doesn't want anyone seeing these taxes, right? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
CARTOON: KISS THIS
Real Psycho Circus. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Big Banged
99 year sentences. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
Trump’s Top 10 WWE Villains & Heros
Pence of Darkness, Jared Babyface Krusher, Mnuchin Man and more.
CARTOON: TrumpCrow
Repel and replace. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.
Children’s Books in the Age of Trump
The Shithole Country Mouse and the City Mouse, The Princess and the Pee Tape, Gulliver’s Travel Ban and more.
Barr Walks Into A Bar...
Barr Walks Into A Bar and the bartender says, "What can I get for you, buddy?". Barr replies, "It's been a rough week. Better make it something stiff." The bartender then says, "Stiffer than the penalty for contempt of court?"
Presidential Candidates Running On A Platform of Basically Just Charisma
A Man Who Just Rolled Up His Sleeves 2020, A Stranger in a Leather Jacket We Haven’t Seen Around Town Before 2020 and more.
Muelling Things Over with Bob Mueller
(additional editor's note: all of Mr. Mueller's advice has been edited for content by Attorney General William Barr)
CARTOON: Spreading the Word
Hoppy Easter. Today's cartoon Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: TrumpCare
Gotta keep the tweeter healthy. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.
Shocking Redacted Bits From The Mueller Report
The words, "No Collusion" had been scrawled with a child-like hand onto each surface of the small restroom, written with what could only be ████████████████ and didn't even wipe them off of the walls before the next day's tour groups could discover the ███████████ and horrific scene.
CARTOON: Tax Dreadlines
Is it permanently extended? Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.
CARTOON: Trump Taxes
Didn't you receive my form 1040-FU? Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.
CARTOON: Trumpcare
Just a few more aaaaand we've solved it. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.