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List Of Illegal Moves In Chess

Castling after having earlier moved your king. Moving…

Man Slips On Pat Of Butter, Winds Up In Next Town

COLLINSVILLE, Illinois – When Wally Pavlicek decides to slip…

The GOP's Holiday Caroling Set List

Rudolph The Ineligible, Pre-Existing Condition Having Reindeer Baby,…

He’s Got Really Small Hands After All and 8 Other New Disney World Rides Added in Honor of Trump’s New Wax Figure in Hall of Presidents

Jared Kushner’s Slum Lords of The Caribbean  He’s…

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“It's Christmas at ground zero,
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Dear Penthouse: This never happens to me. After our broadcast…

Creepy Guy With ‘Free Breast Exam’ T-Shirt Now Most Viable Women’s Health Option In Louisiana

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Quiz: George Carlin’s 7 Words You Can’t Say On TV or CDC’s 7 Words/Phrases Forbidden By Trump Administration

1 Comment
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1. vulnerable 2.piss 3 motherfucker 4. entitlement 5. cunt 6.…

LEAKED! Roy Moore's Eventual Concession Speech

Alright pilgrims, looks like it’s come to this: defeated by…

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The Dark Truth Behind Popular Christmas Songs, As Told By Supporting Characters

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Exiting Brexit: 10 Ways For The UK To Offset Losses After Final Leaving E.U Negotiations

A Reverse Mortgage for Buckingham Palace Nothing will put a…

FOX Executives Discusses The Four

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Classic Green Tea We pick the finest leaves from the highest…

Classic Rock for Domesticated Dads

(Don't Fear) The Swiffer  You Shook Me…

Why Trump wants to move the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem

Frees up prime real estate in Tel Aviv for developing Trump Kasino…

Office Christmas Party Rules That Reflect Current Sexual Harassment Concerns

No more placing the mistletoe above your crotch and referring…

The Trump-Lincoln Ford’s Theater Luxury Casino

“They call you Lady Luck, But there is room for doubt, At…

5 Takeaways from The Christmas Classic, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”

Reindeer can be real a-holes. How else do you explain, “All…

NOTICE: Curriculum Update to Reflect Current Industry Standards: Department of Journalism & Creative Media, University of Alabama

To the Class of 2021,   Welcome to the Department…

New Turkey Stuffings To Keep Thanksgiving Interesting

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The Great Cranberry Cotillion Carb Christmas Yelling…

Wait... Look, squirrel! and 7 Other Signs You Have Adult ADD

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Recent Justice League Sexual Harassment Allegations

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Willie Wanking and the Chocolate Factory And 9 Other Examples Of Louis CK’s Favorite Things

Star Wars Character Hands Solo TV Show Masturbating…

11 Celebrity Dogs from TV & Film and How They Utilized Their Fame

• Benji (Benji, 1974): Worked as a canvasser for the Reagan…

Still Spacey After All These Years

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Death Row Cuisine: Make Your Last Meal Count!

That big day is finally here. The last appeals have been filed,…

Implications of Twitter Giving Everyone 280 Characters

Forces Trump to wake up twice as early to maintain current tweetstorm…

Trump's Super Grand Asian Trip Itinerary

Nov 5: Spend half an hour explaining to the Asian press that…

Freeze Out: Captain Cold Booted From Legion Of Doom After Sexual Harassment Allegations

METROPOLIS -- Captain Cold, the supervillain known worldwide…

Celebrate Your Personal Birthday Purge At Applebees!

This year Congress failed to pass a Universal Purge which would…

What Abbreviated Band Names are Actually Short For

10cc. Member Lol Creme would always ask band mate Kevin Godley…

The Very Basic Facts Contained In The FBI's Released JFK Assassination Documents

The FBI recently released all documents related to the 1963 assassination…

PIC QUIP: Trump's Art Collection

Chicago art museum says Renoir in Trump's NYC apartment is fake.…

Bistro Bistro Is Fully Booked

The first thing to know about Bistro Bistro is that no one answers…

Halloween Horror Flicks For People Who Don't Like Being Scared

I Saw What You Did Last, Sumner Redstone VeryNormal Activity The…

Terrifying Halloween Costumes Based On Our New Normal

Fine Person Comes with shaved-head skull cap…

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I try to make healthy choices, so I bought an exercise ball to…

After 35 Years of Marriage, Dad Comes Out as Alien

STOWE, Ohio -- Following 35 years of marriage, and after seeing…

President Trump Makes Calls To Other Tragedy Victims Throughout History

"So, yeah...  sad, very sad.    It's a shame that he wasn't working…

Deleted Scenes From The Upcoming Spider-Man : Homecoming Blu Ray

Web-shooters go off accidentally while riding on the subway,…

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Many people wonder why the things President Trump says seem so…

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Bad Touch Productions Hurricane Harvey Inc. Just…

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Visit the island and do a rain dance. Ensure that paper…

How Bojack Horseman Changed Television: Every Character is Now a Horse

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16 Quotes That Show Donald Trump Could Be Your Drunk Uncle

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Asking to see the "toilet wine list". Handing out…

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Quiz: Canadian Football League Team or Condom Brand

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Buttock Moisteners, PI-  Adventures of NYC detectives who moisten…

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Back Cover Blurbs for Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir, “What Happened”

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5 Things to Prepare for Once You’ve Released the Fallen Angel from Mike Pence's Urn

Oh dear. Now, you’ve done it. Despite countless,…

White Noise Machine Settings Designed to Keep Socially Anxious People Up at Night

Crowded Room of People Dressed in Formal Wear   The…

Steve Bannon’s Netflix Queue -or- How Steven Bannon Will Spend the Next Few Weeks While Nursing a Wounded But Bloated Ego, Fomenting Hatred in his Heart, and Drinking Gallons of Cheap Gin from a Discarded Aunt Jemima Bottle and a Sterilized Nipple

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Day 1. Here I am at the Bob Ross Artist…

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So you've wisely decided not to evacuate during the hurricane. Good…

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Donald Trump's Take On Classic Fairy Tales

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Hello! We are writers who have not had success being hired by…

Trump Fantasy Football League

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New Career Suggestions For My Freeloading, Annoying, Worthless Coworkers

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How To Tell If You Watched The Eclipse Wrong

Your eyebrows fell into your mouth while you were screaming. Your…

10 Things To Remember While Watching The Total Solar Eclipse

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As I scratch my mosquito bites from last night and watch…

Half A Dozen Other Nice Things That President Trump Has To Say About Hate-Mongering White Supremacists

"Wonderful... beautiful, even... penmanship on some of those…

ALT-Right Film Festival

Tiki Torch Song Trilogies The Kids Are Alt Right Do…

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Many of these marching white supremacist idiots have been exposed…

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The Death Of America Takes A Holiday: Trump's Vacation Journal

Day 1 "Journal... may I call you Journal? Today was sort of…

PIC QUIP: 'Fire and Fury' Survival Tip #1

HGTV Presents: Trump's White House Flippers

Trump speaks from behind his desk in the Oval Office: "Listen,…

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Scaramucci's Ten Day's Worth Of Accomplishments

Booked a spot on Celebrity Big Brother Straightened the…

Other Cringe-Worthy Lines From Trump's Speech To The Boy Scouts

What is it you boys do?   You tie knots and so on, and get…

FOTO BOMB: Ivanka's New Clothing Line

Quiz: National Spelling Bee Winner or National Spelling Bee Winning Word

Nanatuk Venkatachalam Nandipati Appoggiatura Feldenkrai Buddiga Tidmarsh Succedaneum Demarche Sujoe National…

Dear Mother's Needlepoint

          …

Revised Storm Names for 2017 Atlantic Hurricane Season

After receiving an executive order, the National Hurricane Center,…

Tripping Balls with the Founding Fathers

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Many observers of President Donald J. Trump…

Bodyslam Your Way To Greatness: The Gianforte Way

Hello, my fellow God-fearing Americans. My name is Greg Gianforte.…

5 Life Hacks You Can Totally Ignore Unless You’re the Extraterrestrial Arthropod Controlling Chris Matthews

Living day to day is one fickle beast, and sometimes all it takes…

French Kiss 2: Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron Lost in Italy

After the inaugural meeting for the G7 Summit, young and lithe…

Trump Delivers Commencement Speech To Liberal Arts College

Hello. Welcome. Can you believe I’m here? Not just as president,…

Welcome To The Team! Now, Let's Find You A Good Place To Cry, Shall We?

From: SusiePLovesTV@aol.com To: Lindsey.Field@FizzNetwork.com Subject:…

Are You Sure You Want To Log Out?

        &nbs…

The TV Beat- What To DVR Tonight!

Sandra's Café Hilarious antics ensue when Sandra and the…

11 Special Counsels Trump Preferred Over Robert Mueller for Trump/Russia Investigation

Jared Kushner Scooby Doo Jared Kushner Matlock Jared…

5 Personal Essays I Didn’t Get to Publish Before the Boom was Over

For the last few days, my friends have been sharing an op-ed…

Contents of Comey’s Other Memos

A memo in which former FBI Director James Comey details an interaction…

Other Super Secret Info Leaked To Russia By Trump

The White House Wifi password is password. The place underneath…

Rejected Prom Themes

Enchanting Night Of People You’ll Never See After Graduation Dance…

History’s Great Writers Describe Sean Spicer in the Bushes

Shakespeare   The rogue fled from me like quicksilver,…

A Comprehensive Advisory System Based On Sean Spicer’s Standing Patterns As Devised By Homeland Security

Feet straight ahead, eyes forward, hands not on podium: A…

We Got You This Beautiful Charm Bracelet For Mother’s Day

Mom, we love you so deeply that this Mother’s Day we got you…

LEAKED! Ernie's Memo To Staff On New HBO Set of Sesame Street

Recently, the internet learned of a memo supposedly penned by…

"Oh Crap! It's Mother's Day" 14 Last Minute Gift Ideas

Who has time to bake a cake? Little Debbie, that's who. Social…

James Comey’s Medications for the Recently Unemployed or Politically Compromised

Are you stressed? Worn out? Beaten down? Have recent events --…

I’m the Ghost of a Non-Energy Efficient Home, and I Can’t Haunt This House for Shit

I’m tired of competing with typical sounds in this godforsaken…

Rejection Letter from Grams' Jams to Ad Agency For Misunderstanding 'Esoteric' for 'Erotic'

Bryan Champlin CEO, Faust & Furious Ad Agency 1158…

Cutting Edge Gardening Tips

Fire-ant mounds do admittedly appear similar to chocolate lava…

14 Times Even Fozzie Bear Couldn’t Bail Out A Mike Huckabee Tweet

To humorless trolls who soiled themselves re: my earlier tweet-stop…

Basic French for People That Want to Move There Now

Guys, France is safe from far-right nationalism!  This makes…

Some Pre-Existing Conditions The GOP Will Accept

Slimy skin Tightass Sunburn from an “All Lives…

If Adult Movie Dialogue Was Actually ‘Adult’

“Oh god, you’re harder than getting out of bed in the morning.” “I…

STAR WARS SHOCKER: "THREEPIO'S BEEN BEATING ME FOR YEARS," SOBS ARTOO

SOMEWHERE IN THE GALAXY - Finally equipped with a simple voice…

Whoops! Trump Was Caught Trying To Make Sense Of The Bill Of Rights

“…either elect more Republican Senators in 2018 or change…

Trump's Plans for a Canadian Border Wall

The Moat We’re going to build a great moat, a great moat,…

Wikileaks Releases Cease and Desist Order From EPA to Mother Nature

From the office of Pruitt, Scott Administrator, Environmental…

Sean Spicer’s Dinner Speech While Celebrating Cinco de Mayo with Coworkers at Chili’s

Thank you all for coming. Everyone here is…here.…

Big Boy Donny’s Birthday Party

“I want a ball, I want a party Pink…

Turning Your Lemonade Stand Into A Solid Money-Maker

Wet Lemonade T-Shirt Contests with several of the neighborhood…

Why I’m Inviting This Season’s Winner of MasterChef Junior to Read My Eulogy

Okay, first off, huge fan of the show, and please-- please, hold…

14 Product Placements for Pop Songs # 9 Will Make You Literally Want To Eat Their Words

Put a BK Onion Ring On it Beyoncé The Real Slim Jim…

Do You Need A Pep Talk?

I can tell from your appearance that you need a pep talk. I…

Controversial Lines from the White House Correspondents' Dinner 1840-1950

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner (WHCD) has a history…

I am 100% Committed to Being a Dad 24 Minutes a Day

Before our son was born, I couldn’t quite comprehend how my…