Posts
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President Trump’s Labor Day BBQ Menu
Buffalo wings prepared with bald eagle rather then chicken
Potato…
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CARTOON: President Homer
Mmmmmmm Fudge........cartoon by Bob Eckstein and Kit Lively
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New Requirements For Voter Registration Under The Trump Administration
Birth Certificate showing proof of birth in the US. If not born in the US, must be hot European model...
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The New York Times Visits the Town That Votes for Donald Trump Again Every Day
And every day, the residents of this small town take a regimented break at noon to head to their local polling place and vote for Donald Trump, a man who is already president...
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CARTOON: Trumpunzel
Trumpunzel, Trumpunzel, let down your...is that hair? Everything is fine, just tweet away! Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein and Kit Lively
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Paul Manafort's To Do List
Set the DVR to record the next 7 to 10 years of The Bachelor, Have all of my teeth removed and replaced with razor-sharp, pointy steel teeth and more.
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CARTOON: Drive-Thru
Nine cheeseburgers and a diet coke? Can you repeat that Mr. President?' Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein and Kit Lively
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So, What Exactly Do You Have To Do To Get Your Security Clearance Revoked By Trump?
Delete episodes of To Catch A Predator from his DVR ("Lots of…
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CARTOON: Thoughts and Pears
written by Kit Lively
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The Stars of the 2016 Election: Where Are They Now?
If you remember back to what seems like 10 years ago, there were…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Briefs the Media: “The President clearly meant you need id to buy groceries”
Before we start, I just want to note how disappointed I am in…
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Radio News Round Up: Hello Kitty Bullet Train and Trump's Star On Hollywood Walk Of Fame
Weekly Humorist Radio News, Breaking News...Into Little Piec…
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A Taste of Honeypot: One Senator’s Night with Maria Butina
So then, she says she’d like to discuss national reciprocity…
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Half-Assed Apologies From Historic Leaders For Egregious Crimes Against Humanity
Pharaoh of The Exodus
When I enslaved the Israelites…
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White House Revised List: Donald Trump’s Favorite Things
Favorite Golfer: Tiger Wouldn’ts
Favorite Tongue Twister:…
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‘Mr. Gorbachev add onto this wall’ and 6 other Presidential quotes Trump would have ‘fixed’ if he had been President
George Washington: I can tell a lie. Cherry tree? What cherry…
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Rejected Trump Balloon Concepts (after settling on the fat Trump baby)
Leering Trump balloon groping Garfield balloon.
Trump…
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Affirmations To Reduce Worry When The News Media Stops Covering #Kidgate 2018
By the time you read this, we will still be in a highly polarized,…
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Michael Cohen’s Legal Flashcards
Questions to look up beforehand (see Yahoo Answers?):
Larceny
Bribery…
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CARTOON: Protest Profits
You can't argue with logic.
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An Asylum Seeking Migrant Answers Tricky Office Job Interview Questions
They always try to get you with those trick questions.
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President Trump’s Definitive Shortlist Of Supreme Court Justice Picks
This has potential to be the most surprising or least surprising thing you've read today.
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More Trump Poems
Poetry is really one of the only truly beautiful things we have left.
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A Letter From Space Force Training
Hi Mom. Thanks for the note. I miss you too.
Things…
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More Offensive Jackets Worn By Melania
Many were shocked and appalled by the First Lady’s lack of…
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It’s Not the Holocaust Tho
ME: Separating families at the border is criminal. We can’t…
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Donald Trump’s Hair to Announce It’s Transitioning Into A Quilt
The news just got a bit more hair-raising as it relates to the…
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Awkward, Horrible Places That Trump Has Tried To Turn Into Amazing Real Estate Opportunities
During his recent meeting with Kim Jung Un, President Trump marveled…
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Overheard At The G7 Summit...
"G7? Aw, man... I could've had a V8!"
"Hey, what's with…
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TV Newscast from Bizarro World
Local TV evening six o’clock newscast
INT. TV NEW DESK, LIGHTS,…
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The NFL All New National Anthem Policy
The NFL announced a new national anthem policy today:
Players…
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Trump Finally Saw Avengers: Infinity War
Looks like Trump finally saw Infinity War and he's got some tweets for his new most admirable and very best new friend Thanos.
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President Trump’s Short List for Veterans Affairs Secretary
Popeye
John Rambo
Sgt. Slaughter
Blade
The…
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Trump Gets His Parade
Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, they're red,…
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Trends in New Nostalgia
The hottest fashion trend making waves this summer…
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36 More Questions To Fall in Love With Anyone
“In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “ To Fall in…
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Rudy G's "Makin' Life A Breeze"- Rudy Giuliani's Guide To Living Your Best Life!
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Life can be crazy sometimes. And…
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Affairs of the State: Love Notes To and From Russia With and Without Love
August 10, 2015
Dear Donald,
You like strong leaders. I am…
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The White House Party Planning Committee Brainstorms For Cinco de Mayo
TED: Okay, listen up hombres. The White House Cinco de Mayo party…
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Potential Headliners for Next Year’s White House Correspondents Dinner
Gallagher 2
Mike Huckabee
Jeff Dunham’s Terrorist…
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Sean Hannity's Other Secret Advisers
It turns out Michael Cohen isn't the only associate of President…
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IGotThatPeePeeTape and 9 Other User Names To Get US Visas From Trump Administration
With the US requiring would-be immigrants to turn over social…
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No, Your Honor, I Did Not Build A Fire Pit to Burn Documents Relevant to My Criminal Investigation
Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I would like to make a statement…
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Unexpected Twists During ABC's James Comey Interview
Comey was using the interview mostly as a platform to give away…
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Mr. Assad, We Find This One Specific Type Of Murder Unacceptable
Dear Mr. Assad,
We, the collected powers of France, the…
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Paul Ryan's Reasons For Leaving Congress
Now that Trump has made American so damn great again, there's…
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Least Surprising Items Found In The FBI's Raid Of Michael Cohen
Pages and pages of printed Melrose Place fan message board transcripts.
Doubles…
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Get Your Tickets Now: Special Promotions For The 2018 Baseball Season
April 16, Phillies @ Braves—Bark at the Park Night, plus a…
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Other Trumped Versions Of Headlines That Criticize His Actions
After seeing this POLITICO article: Trump tries his hand at…
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Trump's Search For The Perfect Lawyer
After sending out a series of blistering pre-dawn tweets, watching Fox…
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Overheard at the White House Easter Egg Roll
Egg roll? I thought we don’t allow Chinese people in the White…
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Play Ball!: People Trump Would Like to Throw Out Instead of Traditional First Pitch
Carmen San Diego
Mueller
Random Cabinet Member
Mueller
Overrated…
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Paul Manafort’s 7 Keys to a More Deliberate Life
Welcome, everyone, and congratulations, because just by being…
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Updated Checklist for Future Screening of Potentially Dangerous Presidential Candidates
Party Chairpersons: While assessing your potential candidate,…
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New Details Following The Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes Interview...
Members of Trump's organization threatened Stormy following the…
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The White House's Nine-Point Plan to Make America's Schools Safe Again
1. Replace PE, music, and art with paramilitary and situational…
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Other ALL CAPS Advisor Notes For Trump
In regards to Putin's reelection win, Trump's advisors had…
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Statement From The Press Secretary On The Man Who Terrorized Austin Not Being A Terrorist
Phew. For a second there, we thought the bomber who murdered…
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Do Not Push the Red Button
Adviser 1: President Trump, there is a big, red button…
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Vladimir Putin's Top Campaign Promises
Vladimir Putin won re-election as Russian President and immediately…
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Department Of Defense Itemized Trump Property Charges
This week CNN reported Defense Department employees charged just…
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Rejected Headlines For Rex Tillerson Firing After Someone Thought Of 'REXIT'
Tilt-R-Son?!
Rex, Eat Your Salad.
Former Gas Salesman Gaslit…
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The Real Reasons That Stormy Daniels Is Suing Trump
Trauma incurred by having accidentally glimpsing his scabby,…
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Flu Watch 2018: Symptoms We’re Already Dead
Reports are in, and the toxicity of this year’s flu strains,…
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One Weird Day in the Trump White House
Author’s Note:
As your intrepid White House correspondent…
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Things Oprah Might Think Are A Sign From God That She Should Run For President
1. She walks into her dressing room, and a burning bush that…
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Hope Hicks Updated LinkedIn Profile
Hope Hicks
Former White House Communications Director, current…
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If Trump Had Run Into The Florida School Shooting
President Donald J. Trump said this week that if he had been…
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Corporate Sponsors Who Have Turned Their Back On The NRA, Surprising Everyone With The Fact That They Were NRA Sponsors In The First Place!
You've heard of rats deserting a sinking ship, right? Well,…
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The GOP's Guide To Fun Ways Of Blowing Off Steam After CPAC
Being a soulless, Conservative windbag isn't as easy or fun as…
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The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth, and Other Entries from the Diary of Stephen Miller
January 29, 2018
Talk about a banner day for Stephen…
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Other Bits Of Dirt Unearthed By The Mueller Investigation
President Trump is a regular user of Tinkler, the Tinder…
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Tricky Dick Tutors Trump on Treachery
Here's to the State of Richard Nixon
For underneath his borders…
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Daily Itinerary Of Hope Hicks
6 am - 11:18 am: Busy work until the president arrives at the…
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Highlights Of Trump's Planned Military Parade
The crowd will be the largest for a military parade. Ever. Anywhere.…
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Don Jr. Presents: Wonders of the Animal Kingdom
The Monkey
Our first animal today, children, is the…
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Biggest State of the Union Surprises
When Melania’s code malfunctions and she receives a phone call…
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Stormy Daniels' Non-Disclosure Agreement
NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT
This Non-disclosure Agreement by and…
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Best Names For A Trump White House Garage Band
Stable Genius and the Unindicted Co-Conspirators
Obama…
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President Trump's Favorite Things About The Government Shutdown
You might think that Trump would be a bit concerned and unhappy…
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Trump’s First State of the Union
“I don’t really like cheeseburgers. It’s fake news. I’m losing weight and am down to 175 pounds, clearly you can see that.”
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Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton “Government Shutdowners Of Today Are Sissies”
Former President Bill Clinton and House Speaker Newt Gingrich…
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What These 5 Jesus Quotes Would Look Like If We Changed “Shithole” to “Shithouse”
“Who invited us to this shithouse?”
- …
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Bucket List for When You Think You Have 38 Minutes to Live Before a Ballistic Missile Strikes
Try to pull a tablecloth from underneath a set of dishes.
Take…
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A Revised Nightly Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray Bob Mueller my country to…
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Top Selling Christian Rock Albums Since Trump’s Presidential Win
Turn The Orange Cheek
Prayer Warriors
Small Hands, Big…
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Most Interesting Things Overheard During Trump's Physical
"Sorry for the five-hour wait, Mr. President." "That's OK, Doctor.…
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Trump Explains Why Countries Made His Shithole List
Albania
"Voted against my homey Roy Moore."
New Zealand
"Not…
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More Surprising Revelations From Michael Wolff's Fire And Fury
Cover charge to get into the White House is waived if you arrive…
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Trump’s Pay for Play Cabal
“The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is…
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Baby New Year's Roast Of Father Time, 2017
Woo! Hey everybody, how's it going? I have to say... …
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Other New Structures, Places And Things Named After Trump, Currently Under Construction
Just in time to swoop in and save his frail, trembling ego, Israel…
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Most Returned Christmas Gifts: 2017 Edition
Rapist!
Harvey Weinstein's cologne for men (30% infused rose-water,…
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The GOP's Holiday Caroling Set List
Rudolph The Ineligible, Pre-Existing Condition Having Reindeer
Baby,…
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He’s Got Really Small Hands After All and 8 Other New Disney World Rides Added in Honor of Trump’s New Wax Figure in Hall of Presidents
Jared Kushner’s Slum Lords of The Caribbean
He’s…
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How the Trumps Botch Christmas
“It's Christmas at ground zero,
Now the missiles are on their…
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LEAKED! Roy Moore's Eventual Concession Speech
Alright pilgrims, looks like it’s come to this: defeated by…
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News from the Even-Handed Gazette
(The ‘unbiased’ coverage our leaders have clamored…
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Why Trump wants to move the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem
Frees up prime real estate in Tel Aviv for developing Trump Kasino…
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The Trump-Lincoln Ford’s Theater Luxury Casino
“They call you Lady Luck,
But there is room for doubt,
At…
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NOTICE: Curriculum Update to Reflect Current Industry Standards: Department of Journalism & Creative Media, University of Alabama
To the Class of 2021,
Welcome to the Department…
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New Turkey Stuffings To Keep Thanksgiving Interesting
A slightly larger turkey
Creamed corn
Avocado…
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Implications of Twitter Giving Everyone 280 Characters
Forces Trump to wake up twice as early to maintain current tweetstorm…
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Trump's Super Grand Asian Trip Itinerary
Nov 5: Spend half an hour explaining to the Asian press that…
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The Very Basic Facts Contained In The FBI's Released JFK Assassination Documents
The FBI recently released all documents related to the 1963 assassination…
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PIC QUIP: Trump's Art Collection
Chicago art museum says Renoir in Trump's NYC apartment is fake.…
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Terrifying Halloween Costumes Based On Our New Normal
Fine Person
Comes with shaved-head skull cap…
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President Trump Makes Calls To Other Tragedy Victims Throughout History
"So, yeah... sad, very sad. It's a shame that he wasn't working…
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Trump Speech-O-Matic
Many people wonder why the things President Trump says seem so…
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Trump IQ Test
President Donald Trump has challenged Secretary of State Rex…
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Lost Pages From the Steele Dossier
Note: This piece has been adapted from a recently completed…
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Ways That Trump Could Be Even More Horribly Offensive To Puerto Rico
Visit the island and do a rain dance.
Ensure that paper…
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16 Quotes That Show Donald Trump Could Be Your Drunk Uncle
Proof that if you add 'Am I right, Sonny Boy?' to a Donald Trump…